


Sleepless in London

by SevenSeasOfSigh



Series: Sleepless In London [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, But there will be a sequel, Cheating, Depictions of past violence, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I have too many tags, M/M, No Smut, Past Child Abuse, Pining, There’s a sequel!, but we love him, called Love Is Real, light humor, loosely based on Sleepless In Seattle, posted on wattpad, roger is a sad boy, set in 1990s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-12 16:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19949104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevenSeasOfSigh/pseuds/SevenSeasOfSigh
Summary: After Freddie makes a call to a local London radio station about Brian’s love life, will he finally get over his cheating lover? Will Roger learn to love again?Loosely based on Sleepless in Seattle (VERY loosely)





	1. Really, Freddie?

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on WattPad, where it’s currently complete with a sequel in the works!

The wind blew gently across his face as he looked up at the night sky. Understanding the consequences of light pollution, he wasn't too disappointed to find that stars were all hidden behind the thick clouds. Though, he did heave a sad little sigh. 

Brian was alone. Well, mostly anyway. He had a flatmate who seemed to have enough energy and radiance for the both of them most of the time. 

Freddie. Oh dear, Freddie. Bless his heart, always tried to force Brian out of his shell by setting up dates, giving out his number, and even forcing him out to different clubs each weekend. None of which really worked.

The love of his life was gone. Not dead, but off with some other man in the same city no less. Freddie found it ridiculous that a twenty-four year old deemed his life over because of a heartbreak that happened at age twenty-two. 

He deserved so much more than some girl that cheated on him with a co-worker! He had told her that he was bi, and she seemed alright with it. Up until he caught her in bed with Mark from resources. 

"Live and learn!" He'd always say, earning an eye roll from the curly haired man. He meant well, but Brian would rather mope and stew than acknowledge that what she did wasn't his fault. 

It's not like he hadn't tried dating. He had! But nothing stuck, so he just gave up. He didn't really see any point in trying if nothing comes from it. No spark. No connection. He decided it was just a waste of time. 

Brian let out another sigh, this time closing his eyes. The breeze was nice, it was nearing Christmas time and he felt the cool air begin to nip at his nose. He hadn't realized it began snowing until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, causing him to open his eyes. 

"Brian, darling, you're going to catch your death out here." Freddie frowned, pulling his friend inside from the balcony into their flat. 

Immediately the heat warmed up his face, causing his pale cheeks to flush bright red. 

"Just looking at the lights." Brian shrugged, rubbing his red nose in attempt to warm it up. 

"With your eyes closed?" He laughed, "Something's eating you up in that mind if yours. I have a sense for these things." And with that, the older of the two pulled the taller man down on the couch. 

"Fred, I'm fine, really." Brian frowned, though a feeling of warmth still settling over him from being inside. 

"Bullshit, I can see you're feeling down. That's alright, dear. We all feel down sometimes, but you need to let someone in." He put his hand on Brian's shoulder again, the genuine look in his brown eyes soothing the feeling of dread in Brian's stomach. 

"I'm sorry," Brian sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just found out that she's gotten engaged." His breath caught in his throat. He hadn't meant to, but they'd taken up a whole bloody page in the newspaper!

"Her loss, I'm sure they'll be divorced by the third kid." Freddie stated rather bluntly, while stroking Brian's back in a  
soothing manner. 

Used to his friends bluntness by now, he merely shrugged the comment off. Not like he was wrong, the guy was a right prick and Brian didn't know what she saw in him. 

"You were the better choice." All his friends said, which he wasn't so sure. If he was the better choice, then why wasn't he the one who put the ring on her finger. 

"Well, darling, this calls for a celebration!" Freddie suddenly said, standing up and grabbing his coat.

"Freddie, I'm not going out tonight."

"I never said we were going out. I'm going out, dear. I'm going to get us some Japanese and a shitload of booze and then we'll throw some pictures of her in the fire." Freddie was beaming, making it hard for Brian to resist a smile back, so he didn't. 

"Whatever you said, mate." He shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. 

The gentle slam of the door signaled that Brian was alone again.

He stalked to his bedroom and grabbed a picture of him and her. They were at the beach, grinning ear to ear, it had been the night he told her he loved her. The same night she said she loved him too. He wondered if she really ever did, or it that was just another lie too. 

He knew Freddie was right, it was time to get over her. With a shaky sigh, he took the picture out of the frame. He hadn't realized exactly how long he'd been staring at the picture until he heard the door open and close, along with his flatmate's loud singing filling the small flat. 

"I see you've got the picture." Freddie grinned as he saw Brian coming out of his bedroom. Holding up a lighter and setting down the takeaway bag, he walked over to the small fireplace and started the fire, looking up at Brian with a devilish grin as the flames grew larger. 

Freddie the fucking arsonist. 

Brian figured he'd humor the exuberant man and threw the picture into the fire, watching as the flames engulfed the once happy and smiling faces he'd once known so well. 

"Burn, bitch." Freddie chuckled at his friends unamused glare. "I'm only kidding, darling." He reassured. 

Brian only hummed in response as they began eating their takeaway. 

"I hope this means you'll really move on now." Freddie said softly, giving another one of his genuine looks. 

"Yeah... I hope so too." 

After a few hours, it was nearing eleven thirty. That's when shit got real. 

"Thank you for calling into Rhye Radio At Night! Can we get a name?" The calm voice of the radio host came over the receiver.  
"My name's Freddie, Freddie Mercury." He smirked, glancing into the next room, watching the curly haired man sip a bit of his beer.  
"Hi, Freddie." The woman greeted with a smooth chuckle. "Calling to request a song or tell a story?"  
"Oh, I've got a hell of a story for you, darling." He grinned, feeling the multiple shots of vodka settling in. 

"But I'm calling to find my dear Brian the love of his life."


	2. Little Drummer Boy

Roger wasn't one to listen to late night radio shows. He found them tacky, so staged and nosey into peoples lives. But right now, here he was in his car listening to this damn radio station at near midnight on his way home from work. 

"Freddie Mercury" Roger repeated off the radio, rolling his eyes. That sounded like a fake name. This has to be good.

"But I'm calling to find my dear Brian the love of his life." Well... that was unexpected. 

"Calling to find his friend a shag?" His eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head. Really, who is this guy?

"Well, Freddie, can you tell us a little bit about your friend?" The overly sweet host pressed. Roger scoffed, rolling his eyes at the woman. 

"You see, Brian had a girlfriend of six years who broke his heart. They were childhood sweethearts, started dating when they were only sixteen! Then one day, Brian came home from his classes in uni to find his love with another man! In their bed, no less!" Freddie retold the story with such theatrics that if it weren't so damn depressing, Roger would've laughed. 

Instead, Roger found himself staring intently at the road ahead as his hands tightened around the wheel. Who could do something like that? Throw away such a long relationship for a quick fuck? 

"Oh, dear... That's just awful!" The host cooed, tsking at the thought alone. 

"Well, yes, of course it was terrible!" Freddie scoffed, "Poor boy didn't stop crying for days. His heart was shattered." His voice showed genuine anguish at the memory, Roger couldn't help but actually believe it. 

"Well, why don't we get Brian on the phone then? Hear what he has to say." The host suggested, obviously feeling like this story will get the lonely ladies out there listening. 

Roger rolled his eyes. Poor guy has been through enough, now you're making him go on your radio show? 

"That's a damn good idea!" You could hear that Freddie was grinning over the phone. "Just give me a moment and I'll get him!" The phone went silent after a loud 'clunk' of it hitting what's most likely a counter. "Brian, darling! You have a phone call!" Freddie said, suggestively. 

"Huh? Freddie, it's midnight! Who would be calling at this hour?" Brian's voice could be heard in the background as he (presumably) entered the room. 

"Poor guy, probably just wanted to go to bed at this point." Roger mused, feeling an immense amount of pity for the guy. 

"Hello? Brian speaking." His voice came through the phone, Roger smiled at how formal he sounded. He wondered if he was going to get pissed at what his friend did. 

"Yes, this is Anna from Rhye Radio at Night!" Anna calm voice rang out, obviously a bit excited. 

"Uh... hello? May I ask why you're calling?" Brian's voice was skeptical, causing the blind to snort. 

"We didn't call you, dear, your friend called us! Freddie, was it? He's in search of a new 'love of your life' for you." Anna feigned innocence. 

'Clunk', the phone was put roughly on the counter. 

"Freddie, what the hell?" Brian's voice came through the phone, a bit faint due to the distance. 

"What? Darling, you've been single for so long! Your dry spell is even making me depressed!" Freddie shot back, amusement evident in his voice. 

"Um, hello?" Anna called out to the two, "Brian, we don't want to upset you, we just want you to be happy."

"You don't even know him!"

"You don't even know me, ma'am." Brian was back on the phone with an unimpressed tone to his voice. 

They both said at the same time, causing Roger to let out a small laugh. 

"Why don't you tell us about your last relationship? What was her name?" Anna's voice was soft, but had a prying tone. 

There was a sad little sigh on the other line, then a few moments of silence. "Her name was Chrissie." He said quietly. "She was... absolutely perfect, in every way. But... she didn't agree with my life choices, so she found someone new. They just got engaged." There was a bitter laugh, no humor to his words, Roger heart ached at the tone.   
"I told her we could work it out after I found them together. That I could forgive her and we could move on." He swallowed thickly. "But she said no. She said she wouldn't be with 'someone like me'. She wanted a real man, not a disgusting f*g." Brian's voice cracked a bit, Roger hardly even noticed the tears in his eyes until they trailed down his cheeks. 

"Oh, Brian... You deserve so much better. It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight. She had no right to break your heart like that." Anna said soothingly. 

"You're damn right he deserves better." Freddie scoffed. 

Roger wiped his face, shaking his head. What the hell was he doing? Crying over a stranger in the middle of the night?

"I don't know... Maybe I had it coming. I should've kept it to myself, maybe then she wouldn't have left me." His musings were quiet, the heartbreak still evident in his voice. 

"I was going to propose that night." He said suddenly, his voice wavering. "I had the ring in my pocket and I had reservations at her favorite restaurant in London." Anna gasped at his words. 

"Oh my. Well, she's definitely missing out without you." She sighed, pity dripping from her words. 

"No, she has Mark. Mark from fucking resources." Brian said bitterly. Roger let out a small breathy laugh, his calm voice cursing was just... humorous. A bit hot too, but Roger pushed that thought away. 

"He's a prick!" Freddie added, obviously just as humored by Brian's words. 

"Brian, moving in from her will help you so much. There are so many people out there that would just love you. But you need it let them in." Anna's soothing voice came back, and even Roger agreed. 

'I'd love him' Roger though suddenly before scrunching his nose. What the hell? He didn't even know this man!

"I'd like to. I'm just... I'm waiting for the right person. Someone who will accept me and love me as much as I love them." Brian's words were sweet and Roger sighed. 

How was he already falling for a guy just from hearing his voice? What if this Brian guy was a total creep? Roger shook his head. He lived in London too. Maybe they'd run into each other someday. 

"Alright, well, we have to bid you adieu for the night, we have just about a million callers just about you!" Anna's cheerful voice was back. Well, she got what she wanted. More listeners. 

"Alright, bye, Anna. Thanks for uh... letting me complain." Brian said awkwardly. 

"Of course, love! Don't be afraid to call back, we'd love to hear more about you." 

"I bet you would." Roger rolled his eyes, pulling into his parking spot, sitting in his car to hear the last bit of the conversation. 

"Will do. Goodnight." And with that, Brian hung up, leaving a strange empty feeling in Rogers stomach. 

"Alright, everyone! That was Sleepless in London!" Anna's cheerful tone was back in full swing. "All you single people out there better start lining up because-" Roger cut her off by turning his key and getting out of his car. 

He lazily made his way up the stairs and into his flat, yawning before dropping in his bed. He hadn't expected to be out this late. 

Hell, he had an audition early tomorrow for a band.


	3. Roger, What Are You Doing?

"I can't believe you did that!" Brian rubbed his face, his cheeks burning red hot. 

"I'm just trying to help, darling. You needed the push. Now we'll have all the eligible suitors coming for you." Freddie smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at the embarrassed brunette. 

"So I'll have stalkers. And people pitying me for what happened." He crossed his arms, face set in a deep frown. 

"Oh, lighten up, Bri! Maybe you'll find Mr. or Mrs. right! It'll be good." Freddie sighed, patting his friends back. 

"You better hope this doesn't bite us in the ass. We should get some sleep. We have auditions for a drummer tomorrow." Uncrossing his arms and patting the other mans back, Brian headed towards his bedroom. 

"Hopefully it goes as well as when we got Deaky." Freddie grins, leaning on his bedroom door. 

"I don't know if we could top Deaky, he fixed our heater!" Brian chuckled, tension draining a bit from his shoulders. 

"We owe him our lives." Freddie's smile widened as he motioned with great exaggeration, gaining another chuckle from Brian. 

"That we do. Goodnight, Fred, see you in the morning." Brian let out a small yawn before retreating to his bedroom, where he laid awake for two more hours before falling asleep at three am. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-  
Click  
Brian woke up, glancing at the clock, 6:00 am. He groaned. Three hours sleep. Great. 

Brian crawls out of bed and makes his way to the shower, where he quickly undressed and hops in. With a deep sigh, he lets the hot water fall around him. 

After about ten minutes he climbs out, wrapping a towel around himself and dries his hair quickly before putting on a simple t-shirt and black skinny jeans. 

"Is that what you're wearing?" Freddie asked at Brian walked out. Brian raised his eyebrow as he scanned the other man. He has on a black floral button-up shirt with flowing sleeves and black bell bottom jeans and platform boots. 

"It's an audition, Fred, not anything fancy. Are you going to try to seduce our new drummer?" He asked with his arms crossed. He quite liked this t-shirt. It had a space logo on it. 

Freddie gasped, putting a hand on his heart before chuckling. "I'll decide that when we find one." He smirked. "Come on, Bri. At least wear a nice shirt! First impressions matter!" 

"Fine, fine." Brian rolled his eyes and went back to his bedroom, grabbing a white button up, leaving the top few buttons undone. 

"Now look who's looking seductive!" Freddie teased, a grin plastered on his face. "You might catch someone with that shirt, darling." He winked. 

"I'm not seducing anyone, Fred." Brian rolled his eyes, though a smile played on his lips. "Come one, we're gonna be late." And with that they left to their small practice place just around the corner, grinning as the spot John already sitting at the table. 

"Hello, darling. Good morning. Anyone show up yet?" Freddie greeted with a large smile. 

"Good morning," he smiled at the singer and guitarist. "No one yet, but auditions don't start for another minute."

And with that they waited. 

2 hours later

"This is useless, they're all terrible!" Freddie three his arms up in exasperation, the current drummer auditioning suddenly standing up and looking at the band sheepishly. 

"Uh, I'll take that as a no then..." he mumbled, grabbing his belongings and heading towards the door. 

"We'll... uh, call you and let you know by tomorrow." Brian said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment over his friends outburst. 

"Don't bother." The drummer rolled his eyes and left. 

"What a bitch." Freddie grumbled. 

Brian and John stared at him for a moment before just shaking their heads. There have been over ten drummers, and none of them seemed to be good enough. 

"I think we should just call it quits, obviously there isn't anyone who we're going to like." Freddie sighed, rubbing his face. All of his optimism drained by the fourth audition, when the guy admitted that he didn't even know how to play the drums. 

"Think you have room for one more audition?" 

All eyes suddenly snapped up to where the voice came from. Standing there with a confident smile and drumsticks in hand was a young blond man. 

Brian's jaw quite literally dropped at the sight. Big blue eyes, baby blond hair, and dimples for days. Freddie looked over at his friend with a chuckle, tapping his chin to close his mouth. 

"Of course, darling, one more go won't hurt. What's your name?" Freddie stood up to face the blond drummer. 

"Roger. Roger Taylor." He grinned, confidence dripping from his words.

"Alright then, I'm Freddie." He grinned back before motioning to the other two, "That sweet looking one of there is our dear John, the bassist, but we call him Deaky and the one who has been gawking at you since you walked in is Mr. Brian May our beautifully talented guitarist." He introduced, smirking at the blushes that rose to both mans cheeks. 

Roger blinked. These are the people from the radio last night. He pushed away those thoughts and headed over to the drum kit with a smile. 

"It's nice to meet you all." He grinned, confidence back in full swing. 

"Nice to meet you too, Roger." John smiled, looking over at the still blushing Brian and elbowing him a bit. 

"Yeah, uh, nice to meet you too." Brian said awkwardly, looking down at his hands for a moment before looking back up at the drummer. 

He was tinkering with the drums, a highly concentrated look on his face as he tightened a few think on each drum.

"Um... Roger, what are you doing?" The embarrassment was gone from his voice, instead it was replaced with confusion. 

"What? Oh, I'm tuning them!" Roger peeked his head up from the drums, a cheeky grin on his face. "You know, like you tune a guitar or bass. Drums can be tuned too." 

"Incredible." Freddie muttered, impressed look on his face. "Now, darling, let's hear you play."

And with that, Roger sat back on the stool, holding up his drumsticks and he silently counted himself in. Then it was pure magic. The three men watched in awe as the blond made his way across the kit in a fluid motion, never missing a single beat. 

Brian has never heard the drums sound this good, then again, he'd never heard of anyone who tuned their drums. This guy knew his shit, that's for sure. 

"You're in." Freddie suddenly said, as the blond was panting with red cheeks and that same little smile. 

"Holy hell, are you serious?" Wide blue eyes connected with hazel, Brian's face broke out in a grin. 

"I don't think we could do any better if we tried. Deaky?" Brian looked over at the quiet man to see clear excitement on his face. 

"It would be stupid of me to say no. You're in, mate." John grinned over at the drummer who just looked over the moon. 

"Wow, the other drummers must have really sucked." He chuckled, standing up from the stool. 

"Dear, you don't know the half of it." Freddie laughed, patting the blonds back. "Let's try playing something together, see how that goes. Then we'll know for certain." 

Roger nodded, taking a paper from Freddie before reading it. "Keep yourself alive?" He looked up at the rest of the band, tilting his head. 

"Brian wrote it. Isn't it lovely?" Freddie's grin was contagious as Roger felt himself grinning back. 

"It's good, mate." Roger grinned at Brian, whose cheeks were aflame. 

"Yeah, yeah. It's alright." He said, grinning ear to ear at the compliment. "Deaky and I will start and you can just come on in when you see fit."

"Got it." Roger sat back at the drums, giving them a good whack to get started. 

If they thought his audition was magical, they surely weren't expecting this. The drums flowed perfectly with the bass, electrified by the beautiful wails of Brian's guitar. And with Freddie's voice on top of it all, it was nothing short of perfect. 

The room went silent as they all smiled at one another. Freddie was first to speak. 

"Darlings, Queen is complete and she's going to take the world by storm." Freddie gleamed, his smile lighting up the room. 

Roger was on fire. His cheeks burning at the praise, smiling with pride. He could imagine what the shows will be like, especially if they get big. Or rather, when they get big. 

They all sat around the small room, talking about themselves and the band. 

"I'm studying biology here at Imperial College." Roger said, leaning back in the chair. "Originally I studied dentistry, but I decided that I hated it." He shrugged. 

"I just graduated with a degree in graphic design." Freddie added, stretching his back. 

"Electrical engineering. They made me fix their heater when they let me in the band." John chuckled after Freddie ruffled his hair with a grin. 

"Which we are very grateful for. We were freezing out asses of for weeks!" He threw an arm over Johns shoulder. 

"I'm studying astrophysics there as well. I'm going for my PHD." Brian smiled, a small proud smile. 

"Huh, Dr. Brian May. Has a nice ring to it. Very rock and roll." Roger grinned, earning an eye roll and a smile from the guitarist. 

"Alright, boys. How about we go out and celebrate tonight? Celebrate the birth of Queen." Freddie suggested, winking over at Brian. 

"Fred, you know I have to study." Brian sighed, knowing full well that he'd skip studying to spend more time with the new drummer. 

"Oh, fuck studying, darling, you study your life away! Come out tonight, have some fun! Maybe pick up a shag... or two." Freddie wiggled his eyebrows, laughing when Brian's cheeks lit up for the thousandth time today. 

"Fine, fine. I'll come out for a bit. But I really have to study tonight." Brian sighed, rubbing his face when he's met with three large smile. 

"Then no shag for you, dear. Unless you want to force the poor bloke to listen to you nerd talk while you're in the middle of fu-"

"Freddie! No, I'm not taking anyone home tonight." His cheeks burned even brighter when he heard Roger chuckling. "What's so funny?" 

"Sorry, just the idea of someone talking about space and homework while having sex..." Roger laughed harder, John and Freddie joining in. 

"That's how all Brian's little one night stands go. You get a free lesson with the ride." Freddie laughed hysterically, giving Brian a good push on the shoulder. 

Brian groaned into his hands in embarrassment, his ears joining in on the redness in his cheeks. 

"Oh don't be so embarrassed, Bri. I'm sure you're a great shag." Roger chuckled, nudging him a bit and giving him a wink. 

Brian swallowed, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Uh.. thanks?"

Roger stood up, chuckling a bit more with a pink tinge to his cheeks. "I'm gonna head home, I'll meet you all at the pub down the street at seven?" 

"Sounds good, see you later, Rog." Freddie grinned, waving as Roger walked out the door. As soon as the door shut, a smirk was spread across his face. "Alright, out with it."

"I don't know what you're on about." Brian crosses his arms, blush still prominent on his cheeks. 

"You're into Roger." John said, not even looking up from his paper. "It's obvious, Bri, your jaw hit the floor the moment you made eye contact." 

"I was uh... fine! He's good looking! But the guy is obviously straight! Come on, did you see him?" Brian sighed, throwing his arms up in exasperation. 

"He said you'd make a good shag and winked at you, dumbass." John looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"That doesn't mean he..." Brian sighed. "Just, drop it. I hardly know the guy. It's been what? Three hours?" 

"Love has no limits." Freddie declared. "Can I be your best man at the wedding? Deaky can be Rogers!"

"Christ, Freddie! I'm not marrying him!" Brian shook his head. "You're all mad. I'm going home and studying until we leave for the pub." He stood up and stalked out of the room, not before hearing the teasing singing from Freddie and loud chuckles from John. 

Those little shits.


	4. I’m Not Desperate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ :  
> Mentions of physical assault, abuse, and bullying (homophobia)

"What the fuck." Roger breathed, gripping his wheel and resting his forehead against it. "What are the fucking chances that HE was the one on the radio?" His eyes shut tightly, taking in a deep breath when- 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Letting out a screech that nearly shattered the windows of his car, he brought his wide eyes up to meet the mildly concerned hazel ones staring down at him. 

"Shit, sorry, mate. I didn't mean to scare you." Brian said, sheepishly. "Are you alright? I was just about to walk home and I saw you with your head down" The concern in his voice was clear and it made Roger want to shatter the window and snog him right on the spot. Again, what the fuck?

Rogers blushes furiously, staring up at his with his wide blue eyes before clearing his throat and rolling the window down. 

"I... I fell asleep." The blond cursed himself, clenching his teeth at the stupid words falling out of his mouth. 

Brian chuckled. Then laughed. That bitch. 

"I could see that. I thought you might've been upset about the audition. I know Freddie can be a bit particular when it comes to the band, but he really liked you. You've got nothing to worry about with him. Or even Deaky." Brian said, humor leaving his voice for genuine warmth yet again. Could he BE anymore perfect? 

"And you?" The second the words left his mouth, he wanted to drive straight into the ocean.

"Of course. You're probably the best drummer I've ever heard." His words were sincere as he smiled kindly at the smaller man. "And a damn good match for Queen." 

Roger couldn't help the smile that stretched upon his face. No one besides his sister had ever talked to him like that, or applauded his talents with that much sincerity. Women would like him for his pretty face, as well as men before they realized the Roger was, in fact, a man. 

"Th-Thanks, Brian." He said, his voice quiet as he beamed up at the man. 

"Of course, Rog. We're happy to have you." He grinned back, patting his shoulder once before backing away and shuffling his clog covered feet. "I should get going, I'll see you at seven?" He went to turn around and Roger grabbed his wrist gently. 

"Wait. You said you're walking home?" Roger asked, tilting his head at the man in front of him. It reminded Brian of a little puppy. 

"Yeah, it's a few blocks. Not too far." He shrugged. 

"Well, I can give you a ride if you want. I don't have anything to do today." He offered, semi cross with himself because he was just so damn awkward around the man. 

"Well, if you really don't mind..." Brian grinned at him, his face lighting up and he put his guitar in the backseat carefully. 

"Not at all, Bri." And he really didn't. 

"Thank you." He said, getting into the passenger seat and smiling over at the drummer. 

"Anytime." 

They drove for a few minutes in silence before Brian spoke up. 

"You'll never believe what Freddie did last night." Shit. 

"What'd he do?..." Roger asked cautiously, eyes flickering from the road to the guitarist. Brian was just trying to fill the awkward silence, but he only made it more awkward on the drummers part.

"He called a radio station and said that he was searching for the 'love of my life'." Brian chuckled, rolling his eyes. "The host was prying into all the details of my love life, I really hope nobody heard it. She said a bunch of people called in to ask about me and wants me to call back tonight." Fuck. 

"Are you going to?" Roger swallowed, glancing over at him. 

"I don't know. Probably not." Brian shrugged. "The whole thing was weird."

"Yeah... Sounds pretty weird."

"I mean, what kind of crazy person would actually fall for someone over the radio?" Brian chuckled, oblivious to the blonds hands gripping tighter around the steering wheel. "They'd have to be pretty desperate to fall for someone they hardly knew."

"This is you." Roger stopped in front of Brian's flat, eyes staring straight ahead. 

"Oh, right. Thanks." Brian said, climbing out of the car and grabbed his guitar. "See you at seven?" He flashed the blond a smile. 

"Yeah, sure." Roger knew it was ridiculous, but Brian had just called him a crazy person and desperate in the same breath. Maybe not directly, but the words stung a bit. "See you." And with that he drove off, speeding to get to his apartment, leaving a confused guitarist staring at the back of his car. 

Roger took a deep breath, just wanting to get home as fast as possible. He finally parked in his spot and rushed inside where he then fell on the couch and screamed in a pillow before getting up and heading to the bathroom. 

"You daft fuck." He muttered to himself as he looked in the mirror. "You absolute shit." He sighed, turning around and starting the shower, hoping the water will wash away his embarrassment. He got his hopes up about a guy he just met. It was no ones fault but his own. 

But then there he stood, hot water pelting and scolding his skin and running down his cheeks. He imagined it was rain, as he stands outside Brian's window screaming to him that he heard him on the radio. That he fell for his gentle voice immediately and fell even harder when he walked into that room and locked eyes with him. Maybe not in love, but it was something. 

He realized that he was naked in his daydream and huffed a laugh. He's going slightly mad, or even perhaps fully mad. 

Roger has always been this way. He's always been loving and affectionate and fiery. His heart was on his sleeve for the world to see, and more often than not, it got shattered as everyone watched. 

In his twenty-two years of life, he's had his heart shattered quite a few times. His first girlfriend, when he was ten, broke up with him because he looked like a girl, which in turn made all the boys in his year laugh and ridicule him throughout his school years. He had heard every slur and stereotype by the time he turned twelve and had been victim to quite a few beatings from his classmates. 

He told his mother and father about it after he came home with a black eye and bloody nose when he was thirteen. His father had laughed and told him to man up as his mother just shook her head and told him that boys will be boys. He cried himself to sleep that night, the only comfort was his twelve year old sister hugging him and telling him that it'd be okay. 

It only got worse as he got older. He had girlfriends here and there, but it always ended the same way; he was "too nice" or "too emotional" and most just thought he was gay and were disgusted by him. 

When he was sixteen, he realized he was bisexual. He got his first boyfriend in the fall. His name was Tim and he was in a band. 

They did everything together. And Roger had fallen in love for the first time.

He thought Tim was different. He made him feel safe. They hid their relationship, but Roger didn't mind. He wasn't out to anyone but his sister. 

They were together for one year. Roger went over to his house one night and they sat in his backyard looking up at the stars and talking about plans after they graduate. 

Roger told him that he loved him that night. Tim told him that he wanted to break up. That he fell in love with another girl. They'd been together for three months and she was pregnant. 

Roger felt as if the air was knocked out of him. He couldn't breathe as tears steamed down his face. He stood up, seething and pushed Tim's chest hard. 

"Fuck you." He breathed. "I loved you and you... you-" a sob broke through, shaking his whole body as Tim watched with tears in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Roger. I didn't want to hurt you..." Tim said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." He said through clenched teeth, his blue eyes glaring harshly at the other boy. 

"I'm sorry." Tim whispered, tears streaming down his own face. "I'm so sorry."

"That's what everyone says." And with that, he was gone. He hadn't had a real relationship since. He told himself he'd never fall in love again. He walked home twelve miles, only just getting home at three am. His father was waiting for him at the door. He went to school with a black eye and bruised ribs the next day. 

Not a single person asked what happened. The teachers stared and whispered, calling him a problem child. If only that were true. 

Roger left home after graduation. He hadn't seen his parents since that day, five years ago. Clare left a year later and moved in with Roger. She was all he had left beside a few casual friends. 

Roger didn't realize he was crying until there was a knock at the door, bringing him out of the dreaded memories. 

"Roggie?.. Are you okay?" Clare's voice came, muffled through the door and the pounding of the now cold water. 

"Y-Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." He sniffled, turning the water off and climbing out and quickly getting dressed. When he walked out of the bathroom, his sister threw her arms around him. 

"Tell me who, and I'll kill them." She said, her calming voice greatly contrasting the vicious words. 

"It wasn't anybody, Clare. I just... I got lost in my thoughts and got a bit caught up in it." Roger sniffled, gently pulling away from the hug. "I appreciate the offer though." He let out a small chuckle. 

"You know I'd kick anyone who messes with you's ass." Clare said, folding her arms, looking just about as unthreatening as anybody could as she stood five feet tall, weighing as much as a feather and looked exactly like a slightly more feminine Roger. 

"I'm sure you would." He chuckled again, ruffling her hair. "Shit, I gotta get ready." He cursed, looking at the clock which read 6:45. He took a two hour long shower. 

"Ready for what?" She raised her eyebrow, watching at Roger frantically searched through his closet. 

"I'm going to Joe's pub, down the street. I have to be there by seven!" Roger said, tearing off his shirt quickly and replacing it was a black floral one. 

"Oh, like a date?" Clare smirked, plopping down on his bed. "What's their name?"

"It's not a date, Clare. I'm just going out with the band I auditioned for today." He grinned, remembering just how much he got along with them, even if he was still a bit miffed at what Brian said. He knew he didn't mean to insult Roger. 

"Wait, so you're in?!" Clare asked, face lighting up. 

"Yup, they said I was the best they've ever heard." Roger was beaming, pride filled his chest again. 

"Oh, Roggie! That's amazing!!" She squealed, jumping up and squeezing her brother until they were both struggling for breath. 

"Damn, Clare, let me breathe!" Roger laughed, pulling away from her death grip. 

"I'm just... I'm so happy for you, Roggie." She smiled, fixing his shirt a bit. "Are you still thinking about the guy on the radio last night?" 

"You'll never believe me if I told you. The guy is in the band. He's the guitarist. And the friend that called in, is the lead singer." Roger explained, shaking his head. 

"So... is he hot?" Clare asked after the surprise fell away from her face. 

"Well... Shit, yeah. He is." Roger sighed. "But I'm not going to fall for him. Love is shit." 

"Love isn't shit, Tim was shit. You deserve someone that'll treat you right and love you. Maybe that's not the radio guy, but it could be. Give it a chance, Roger. You deserve to be happy." Clare said, her blue eyes locked on Rogers identical ones. 

Roger rolled his eyes and smiled a sad smile. "Clare, you sap."

"No, Rog, I mean it. I want you to be happy." Her voice was soft, but her face was stern. She really meant it. 

"Alright, Clare. I'll... I'll give it a chance." Roger sighed, looking down at his watch. "Fuck, it's 7:05!" And with that, he scrambled again, fixing his hair, changing his jeans, and putting on a bit of what he thought was cologne, but was actually Clare's perfume. At least it smelled nice. 

"I gotta go, love you!" Roger called, slipping on his pink converse and running out the door. 

"Love you too! Go and get your man!" She called from the couch, already turning on a movie for herself. 

Roger laughed and made his way down the street. He decided not to drive, since the bar was only a five minute walk and he didn't want to get behind the wheel if he'd been drinking. Maybe someone would take him home tonight. 

He ignored the part of him wishing it would be Brian.


	5. You’re Stuck With Us, Darling

"He's not coming." Brian frowns, looking at his watch. It was 7:25, if he was coming, surely he'd be here by now. 

"Come on, Bri. Maybe he got caught up in something." John said, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"Or someone." Freddie snickered, taking another sip of his drink as John nudge him. "What? Did you see him? He's probably got girls lined up at his door every night."

Brian sighed. He probably had better things to do on a Saturday night anyway than to hang out with three guys he didn't know. 

Just then, the door to the pub bursted open to reveal a slightly flustered Roger. 

"Oh, darling, you made it! We were just talking about you!" Freddie greeted as the blond approached the bar. 

His hair was a bit messy and his cheeks and nose were a bit red, likely from the cold December air. Brian couldn't help but notice the snowflakes spread across his eyelashes. 

"I'm sorry I'm late. I lost track of time." He grinned sheepishly, taking a seat next to Freddie, much to Brian's disappointment. 

"Is that perfume I smell on you?" Freddie smirked, leaning in and sniffing the poor bloke. "Where'd you find a shag so early in the evening?"

Brian felt his stomach twist a bit. Was he really jealous right now? Rogers a grown man that can do what he wants. 

"It was an accident, I-" Roger began before being cut off by Freddie's laughter. 

"An accident? Darling, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm just teasing." 

"I didn't-"

"Roger, really. You don't have to explain yourself." Freddie smirked at the exasperated man. 

"I accidentally used my sisters perfume because I was rushing." Roger blushed, speaking fast. He didn't want any of the band to think he was some sort of sleaze. He had plenty of one night stands, but he'd never blow anyone off for a quickie, let alone be late because of one. 

"You live with your sister?" The question came from John, offering him a kind smile. He was beyond grateful for the subject change. 

"Yeah, we both left home around the same time. Figured it would save money." He avoided going into detail, they didn't need to be discussing his childhood traumas in some sleazy pub. 

"That makes sense." John nodded. "I have a sister too. She still lives with my parents out in the country." 

Roger nodded with a smile. John was awkward, but he could tell that he was putting in some effort to help him feel like he belonged. 

They spent the night happily chatting and discussing plans for band rehearsals. Roger was happily buzzed, grinning at the three men around him. 

"Hey, sweetheart." A drunken slur came from behind him, "How about you let me buy you a drink?" 

Roger suddenly felt a hand dangerously low on his back. He tensed up and his cheek flushed as he saw the confused and worried gazes from each band member. 

"I suggest you take that hand away before you lose it." He growled, turning around and facing the man. His hands were curled into fists and they were shaking. This happened all too often and he was embarrassed to have his new band mates witness it. 

"Aw, shit. Sorry, man. Thought you were a chick." He look his hand away as if he was burned. 

"I don't give a shit what you thought. You don't grab women's asses either." Roger glared, eyes burning into the larger man. 

Much to his dismay, the man began to laugh. Roger faltered a bit. He knows this situation all too well. 

"Aww, a righteous little mamas boy?" The larger man cooed mockingly. "Mamas little f*g." Roger could smell the overwhelming amount of alcohol on the mans breath. 

He was numb to it now. The stabbing feeling of the word, always said with faux sweetness and an overwhelming amount of disgust. Roger clenched his teeth. He didn't want to get into a bar fight tonight. 

"That's quite enough." A voice came behind him. It was stone cold and sent shivers down Rogers spine. "I think it would be best if you'd leave now." The words were sharp as Brian glared at the man. Freddie and John were quick to stand up as well. 

The man laughed. "Gay bar is down the street, you know." He guffawed. 

"You would know." Roger smirked, confidence growing knowing that they were behind him, the mans face fell a bit. Nothing hurts a homophobic bastard more than being accused of being gay themselves. 

"Fuck you." The man sneered, his face going red with anger. 

"You wish." A cheeky grin covered his face. 

In a fit of pure rage, he threw a glass at the wall behind the bar. The bartender glares at the man as the glass shattered loudly. 

"Get out of my bar, now!" He yelled, grabbing the phone. "You have five seconds before I call the cops!" 

The man growled, sending the four a harsh glare before storming out. 

"Right prick, he was." Roger muttered, grabbing his drink and throwing it back. He felt them all staring at him and he hated it. 

"Does... Does that happen a lot?" Brian asked cautiously, taking the seat next to him. 

"Wasn't the first time, won't be the last." He sighed, putting the now empty glass down. If it were any other night, he would just get absolutely piss drunk and go home with some girl to forget the feeling of the various drunk hands gripping and grabbing his body. Clare was worried enough about him tonight, he couldn't do that to her. 

"It's just not right." John sighed, frowning down at his drink. It looked a bit like a Shirley Temple. Poor bloke was likely the driver tonight. 

Roger just shrugged in response before getting up and handing the bartender a few bills. "That should cover the glass too, sorry, Joe." He muttered, all too familiar with this turnout. 

"Keep it, Rog, that's twice this week. I can't keep letting you pay for these wankers." Joe sighed, pushing the money back to him. 

Brian felt his heart break at that. Twice in a single week that he's been basically assaulted by some drunk? He knew Roger had a feminine look to him, but he didn't know it caused anything like this. 

"Don't look so upset, it happens." Roger said, finally turning around to face the three concerned faces. "It's not always that bad, usually I just brush it off. I just... I was a bit on edge today, it's my fault. Sorry for messing up your night." He said it so casually, a sad smile pulling at his lips. 

"Darling, stop that shit." Freddie put a hand on Rogers shoulder, causing the blonds gaze to look at him with confused eyes. "We saw what happened, you did absolutely nothing wrong. It's not your fault in the slightest." 

"Thanks, Freddie." Roger felt his heart flutter a bit, he didn't understand why they were so nice to him. "And thanks for inviting me out. I hope this doesn't make you guys not want to go out with me again." Roger chuckled, though there wasn't any humor in it at all. 

"Of course not, Rog, we like you." John smiled kindly at him and the other two nodded. 

"It's true. Queen is a family. You're stuck with us, darling." Freddie smiled, pulling the blond in for a hug. "And don't you fucking forget it."

"I won't." Roger grinned, giving into the older mans affections and letting the tension of the past altercation fade away. 

"Damn right you won't." He chuckled, pulling away from the hug and clasping a hand on his shoulder. 

"Well, thanks again. I'll see you guys at rehearsals on Monday?" Roger said, standing up from the bar stool. 

"Bye, dear. Nine am sharp, no quick shags this time." Freddie winked, earning a chuckle from the blond. 

"Bye, Roger." John gave a little wave. "Freddie, Brian, still want a ride home?" 

"Yes, dear, thank you." Freddie responded, slipping his coat on. 

"Actually, I think I'll walk. Is it alright if I walk with you, Rog?" Brian turned to the drummer who was just about to walk out the door. 

"Oh, yeah, sure. I live a few blocks down. On Brighton street." Roger smiled a bit, holding the door open for the three. 

"That's a block away from us!" Freddie beamed. "Absolutely perfect!" Roger could tell he was a bit tipsy. 

"I'll walk you home then." Brian smiles and waved goodbye to the two getting in the car. He didn't mind walking. The Christmas lights were a nice sight. 

"Thanks, Bri." Roger smiled. It almost looked like a blush on his cheeks. Brian shook his head. It's cold outside, that's why his cheeks are so red. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes, glancing at each other from the corners of their eyes. Roger shivered a bit. He was in such a hurry that he forgot his coat. 

"Here." Brian said, unzipping his own coat and draping it over the smaller man. 

"Won't you get cold?" Roger asked, his baby blue eyes being illuminated by the moonlight, along with streetlights. The sight nearly took Brian's breath away. 

"No, I was getting a bit hot anyway." It wasn't a complete lie, Brian was just naturally warm all the time. He did have to surprise the shiver that came after the coat was off, however. 

"Thanks." Brian was rewarded with a bright smile as the drummer inched closer to collect more heat. "Why are you so hot?"

"What?" Brian asked with wide eyes, body flushing with heat as the drummers eyes met his own. 

"Your body heat. You're like a bloody radiator." Roger chuckled, ‘accidentally’ bumping into Brian occasionally as they walked.

"Huh, I don't know. Thick skin, maybe." He chuckled as they stopped in front of Rogers building. 

"Hey, Bri?" Roger asked, eyes looking up at him as he played with the too-long sleeves of the jacket. 

"Yeah?"

"Did you want to come in and have some tea?" His voice was a bit nervous, but Brian couldn't resist the puppy dog eyes the blond was giving him. 

"I'd love to."


	6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Fumbling a bit with the lock, Roger pushed open the door gently before creeping inside and putting his keys in the bowl. He gave Brian a small smile as he hung up the borrowed coat. 

"Is earl grey alright?" Roger asked quietly, making his way to the kitchen and turning on the light. He quickly turned the dimmer down so the room was now a soft glow. 

"Yes, that's perfect." He smiled, eyes traveling to a sleeping figure on the couch. He frowned a bit when he realized it was a woman. 

"What? Oh, that's my sister. She always passes out on the couch. She likes to wait up for me, but one glass of wine and she's out like a light." Roger chuckled, turning the kettle on and getting two mugs out. 

Brian let out a small chuckle, gaze still lingering on the sleeping figure. It was so strange how much they looked alike. 

"Bri? Are you going to keep staring at my sister like a creep?" Roger raised an eyebrow, amusement in his tone. 

"Right, sorry. You just- Are you twins?" Brian asked, looking back at him. 

"Huh? No, no. I'm a year older. We get that a lot though." He shrugged, relieved that Brian wasn't actually checking out his little sister. "I thought you were going to ask if she were single or some shit." Roger chuckled, leaning against the counter. 

"No, no! Of course not!" Brian blushed, putting his hands up in defense.

"I've had a lot of friends do it before. I just tell them to fuck off." Roger shrugged, taking the kettle off the burner before it screamed and pouring the hot water into the cups. 

"One sugar, please." He said when Roger motioned to the sugar. "That's understandable. I'm sure I'd feel the same if I had a sister."

"Milk?" Roger asked before nodding. "My friends aren't good enough for her is all. They're all pricks." 

"Just a splash, thanks." Brian accepted his cup with a small smile before it fell. "Then why are you friends with them?" He didn't mean to pry, but curiosity got the best of him. 

"I... well, I don't know." Roger sighed, taking a sip of his own tea. The too-sweet liquid calming his nerves a bit. "I mean, they're just people I hang out with when I don't want to be alone, I guess." Carefully avoiding his eyes, Roger stares down at his mug, picking at the paint chipping off the exterior. 

"You deserve better." The comment was casual, but it made Rogers eyes shoot up to Brian. The wide and innocent eyes held disbelief. Brian couldn't believe that this was the same guy that same in today with the confident smile and charismatic winks. 

"It's whatever. I don't hang around them much anymore. Clare hates them." Roger shrugged it off, clearing his throat and sipping his tea again. 

"Hey, Rog?" He spoke softly, eyes watching the blond from across the counter. 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm glad you auditioned." The sincerity in Brian's voice brought a smile to his face. 

"Yeah, me too, Bri."

They ended up talking for two hours, laughing and joking around. Roger felt like he'd known him for years, rather than just a day. The connection was clear, and it silently drew both of them in. 

After their tea was finished, though one cup turned to three, Brian grabbed his coat off the hook and put it on. "Thanks for the tea. I'll see you Monday?" 

"See you Monday." He smiled. "Goodnight, Bri."

"Goodnight, Rog." And with that, the door shut gently behind him. 

"I thought you two were gonna shag right there on the kitchen counter." A voice came from the lounge, Roger turned around to see Clare sitting up with a smirk. 

"Eat shit, you twit." Roger laughed. "You were awake the whole time?"

"Twat." Clare huffed a laugh, leaning back into the couch again. "Yeah, and I heard everything." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Why didn't you have him spend the night?"

"He's my friend, Clare. I'm not going to shag him." Roger crosses his arms, falling onto the couch next to her. "It'll just fuck everything up."

"Or, maybe, you'll have a decent guy, fall in love and get married. Then adopt a shitload of kids." Clare suggested, elbowing her brother. 

"Or, I could focus on the band I just became a part of and not break any new friendships." Roger was serious. He wouldn't let his feelings mess up something he's wanted for so long. People to accept him, make him feel like he belonged somewhere. 

"Alright, Alright. Sorry." Clare sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

"I don't need a relationship to be happy, you know?" He rested his head on top of hers, watching out the window as snow fell gently. 

"I know. I'm glad you found better friends, Rog." Clare smiled at him, getting up from the couch. "I'm gonna go to bed now. I'm meeting friends for breakfast." She yawned, walking into her bedroom. "Goodnight."

"Night." He yawned, going to his own bed. He closed his eyes and dreamed of touring the world, playing sold out shows, and his new friends. His new family. 

________________________________________

*Three weeks later*

"Darlings, I have some wonderful news!" Freddie bursted through the door, grinning like a mad man. 

"And what would that be, Fred?" Brian looked up from his book, eyebrows raised in interest. 

"Well, nothing too big, but I've booked up a gig for Friday night. Christmas Eve." Freddie grinned. "I figured, my family doesn't celebrate, Brian's and Deaky's parents are all going on Holliday, and Roger?" 

"Fuck it, I'm in." Roger shrugged, twirling a drumstick. "My parents are going on holiday too." He lied, looking at the band. "And Clare's going with her boyfriends family." At least that's true. 

"Wonderful!" Freddie grinned. "I've written up the setlist. We can go through it now." 

Brian frowned over at Roger. "Your family's going on holiday too?" 

"Yeah, why?" It came out more defensive than he meant for it to. 

"No reason, sorry." Brian muttered, frowning over at the drummer as he got up and grabbed his guitar. 

Roger felt a twinge or guilt, but sighed and sat back on his stool, giving his drums a good whack before looking up to Freddie. 

"Alright, so we'll start with Keep Yourself Alive, move on to Doin Alright, then to Liar, and then Seven Seas Of Rhye." Freddie said, going over his list. "Then we can do Blue Christmas and Baby It's Cold Outside."

"Baby It's Cold Outside?" Roger raises an eyebrow. 

"Yes, and I thought it would be wonderful if you could sing the girl part?" Freddie grinned at the blonde, who was now sitting with his arms crossed. 

"Are you joking?" Rogers mouth was agape. "You want me to sing like a girl?"

"Darling, we've heard you go high. I'd look a tad ridiculous singing both parts myself. You could play the tambourine to make the-" Freddie did an impression of the percussions, "sound."

Roger sighed, pouting a bit. "Fine. But you're buying my drinks all night."

"Of course, dear." Freddie winked. "Alright, let's go through the list once. Three days until the gig!"

"You gave in fast, Rog." John nudged, plucking the strings on his base a bit. 

"Yeah, I figured I'd just let it slide. For someone who doesn't celebrate, Freddie sure as hell loves Christmas." Roger said, glancing over the list again. 

"Tell me about it, I've already gone Christmas shopping with him ten times this month." John chuckled, moving back to his spot. 

They went through the setlist three times. They had to keep restarting Baby It's Cold Outside due to Brian and Johns amusement at the sight of Roger singing in his most feminine voice with the look of death in his eyes. Freddie just rolled his eyes and told him to go higher as the two boys laughed. 

When practice was finally over, Roger cleaned up his kit and made way for the door, a cigarette already between his lips aching to be lit. 

"Smoking kills, you know?" Brian said, leaning against the wall. 

"We're all gonna die someday, might as well enjoy ourselves along the way." Roger lit the cigarette, taking a long drag. He doesn't smoke much, only when he's anxious. 

"And Fred says I'm depressing." They both huffed a laugh. Roger offered a cigarette to Brian, but he shook his head. 

"What are you doing for Christmas?" Roger asked, leaning back on the wall behind him and shifting his gaze up from his silver shoes. 

"Well, my parents will be on Holiday for their twenty-fifth anniversary and I don't have any siblings so... I'll probably just stay home with Freddie." Brian shrugged. He wasn't upset about it, his parents deserved a holiday for themselves. "What about you?"

"I'll probably get piss drunk and wake up in someone else's bed like I do every year." His bluntness caused Brian to blink. 

"I take it you're not much of a holiday person..." Brian frowned, stomach twisting a bit at the thought of him spending the holiday alone. Or at least, without friends or family. 

"I loved Christmas as a kid. My grandma used to have us over and it was always, well, perfect. But, she passed when I was a teenager. And I just haven't celebrated since." He flicked the ashes away and blew smoke away from Brian. The idea of Roger being completely alone on a holiday broke his heart and the reasoning was just salt in the wound. 

"Why don't you come to our flat? John moved in two weeks ago and he's spending it with us too. It's nothing crazy. Just the three of us, some booze probably, and some cheesy Christmas movies." Brian looked over at the blond, who looked at him with surprised eyes. "We have a sofa bed you can sleep on too." 

"You're serious? I wouldn't be intruding?" Cigarette long forgotten, he put it out and looked up at the taller man. "You've known me three weeks..."

"Freddie wasn't kidding when he said we're like a family. Hell, he'd probably try and kidnap you in the middle of the night and bring you back to our flat if you said no." Brian chuckled, earning a small grin from the smaller man. 

"Alright, alright. I'll join you in your holiday rendezvous." Roger said, his voice was much more excited than his face was letting on. 

"Alright, let's get back inside before we freeze to death." Brian shivered. 

"Baby, it's cold outside!" Roger sang loudly, his voice imitating the woman on the record.

Brian chuckled, opening the door for the blond and pushing them both inside. 

"Coming around on that song, Rog?" Freddie smirked, watching the two giggling boys walk in the door. 

"Oh, piss off!" Roger laughed. 

"Freddie, Rogers coming over Christmas." Brian mentioned as he began packing up his Red Special. 

"Of course he is, dear, you think I'd let him be alone on such a holiday?" Freddie smiles widely, pulling the blond in for a side hug and ruffling his hair. "I'm glad you're coming willingly, I was worried I'd have to send a SWAT team." 

Roger laughed, fixing his hair a bit. "It beats spending the night at the pub." He shrugged, grin still stretched across his face. 

"Won't be able to take home any shags at our flat though, Deaky's too pure. Maybe you could get Brian, but he's a bit of a prude." Freddie chuckled, heading out to the car. 

"I'm not a prude, Freddie." Brian blushed. 

"You've been celibate long enough to be considered a prude, dear." Freddie nudged him, getting in the front seat. 

"I'm not celibate." He grumbled. "And now I've got women and men calling me all the time, asking to be the love of my life, you arsehole." 

"Which you've said no to all of them." John pointed out. 

"I want something real. I don't want someone who just heard my voice and tracked me down." He sighed. 

Freddie sighed in understanding. "Yes, I know. But if you keep waiting around, you'll lose the real thing you're looking for."

Brian's eyes lit up with understanding, dropping to his feet. "Can we talk about this later, Fred?"

"Of course, darling." His voice was much softer. Roger was about to ask, when John pulled in next to his flat. 

"Bye, Rog." John.   
"Bye, dear!" Freddie.   
Silence. Brian. 

"See you lot tomorrow." He gave a little wave before heading inside. 

"Really, Freddie? You had to say that right in front of him?" Brian's face flushed with embarrassment and frustration. 

"Wait, what?" John frowned, glancing at the two. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Deaky. Brian's just madly in love with little Roggie." Freddie smirked. 

"Fred, you shit, I'm not in love with him!" Brian rolled his eyes. "It's just... a little crush. It'll go away."

"It doesn't have to, Bri." John smiled, eyes crinkling at the older man. "He seems quite smitten with you too."

"I don't want to ruin anything. He's happy with Queen and with us. But if, say, he did feel the same and it didn't work out? What would happen then?" Brian ran a hand through his hair, his Brian overthinking each possibility. 

"Then you suck it up and stay friends. It's not that difficult, dear." Freddie sighed, leaning back in the seat. "Besides, you're obviously soulmates."

"Soulmates aren't real." Brian scoffed. 

"Neither are Greek gods, but you always yammer on about them in your star stories." Freddie shot back in a playful tone. 

"That's... That's different!" A very flustered Brian huffed, knowing what they were saying made sense. "I'm not ready yet, okay? Maybe someday, one day... just, not right now."

"Take your time, Bri. But he won't be waiting forever." Freddie said, reaching an arm back to rest on his shoulder. The position he was in was awkward, he'd laugh if Freddie wasn't being so damn nice right now. 

"I know." Brian sighed. "But I need to know how I feel for sure before I say anything."

"I understand, darling." Freddie gave him a small smile before they all got out and went into the flat.

The night consisted of too much booze and ten rounds of scrabble.   
Brian drank was was probably his twelfth shot and was feeling giddy inside as he approached the phone. He looked over at John and Freddie, practically on top of each other giggling and talking. He decided to do what any reasonable third wheel would do. Drunk call his crush. 

"Hello?" The voice came through the phone after three rings. "Hello?.." 

"Roger!!" His voice was slurred, but Brian hardly noticed. 

"Bri?" Roger raised an eyebrow before letting out a chuckle. "Bri, are you drunk?"

"No!" An offended slur came, followed by a giggle. "Maybe a little..."

Roger shook his head. Brian didn't strike him to be much of a drinker. Hell, Brian himself said he didn't drink much. But now here he was, calling him at one in the morning, absolutely shitfaced. 

"Roggie!" He called, "Did you hang up on me?!" He asked louder. 

"No, Bri, I'm still here. But if I did, yelling wouldn't make me hear you." He chuckled, only slightly blushing at the nickname. "Maybe you should get some water and go to bed."

"But, Roggie... I'm lonely." Roger swallowed and his stomach twisted uncomfortably. 

"Well, Bri, I-" he cleared his throat, shifting his feet and tangling his fingers in the chord. 

"Can you come over? Please, Roger, I'm so lonely." The slurred begging caused heat to rise to Rogers cheeks. 

"Brian, please. It's late. Go to bed, mate." His voice cracked a bit, tightening his grip on the receiver. 

"I have a secret to tell you, Roggie. But you have to promise that you won't get mad." Brian's voice was near childlike despite the slurring and stumbling of words. 

"Bri, I don't think you should be telling me anything right now." Roger was breathing shakily, he wasn't amused by this situation anymore. 

"Roger, I-" 

The line went dead. Roger put the phone back up on the hook with a shaky hand. He shook his head. Brian didn't have feelings for him. His number was probably the first he could think of and that's why he called. The 'secret' was probably going to be something ridiculous, like "I love cheese" or something. The man was absolutely wasted, for fucks sake. 

'Please, I'm so lonely.' Rang in his ears, he swallowed back a nauseous feeling he had. Brian was quickly becoming one of his best friends. He didn't think of Roger as anything more than a friend. 

Roger trudged to bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to ignore any dirty feelings and thoughts stemming from Brian's pleas for him to come over. He ignored the part of him that wanted to hop in the car and speed there as fast as he could. He finally fell asleep a few hours later.   
________________________________________

"-love you..." the slurred confession fell of deaf ears, after not hearing a response, Brian's face scrunched up. "You don't love me?..." 

John sighed, holding the disconnected phone chord in his hand. "The phones went out, Bri, I'm sure he loves you too. Let's get you to bed." 

John had sobered up completely when he heard the slurred pleas and almost confession. He stumbled over Freddie and ran to unplug the phone as fast as he could. 

"Oh..." was all Brian could say, he stumbled to his room with a bit of help from John. "Deaky? Why doesn't anybody love me?" His voice was soft, so innocent that it broke John's heart. It shattered even more when he noticed the tears in the taller mans eyes. 

"Brian, plenty of people love you. Freddie, your parents, me, and even Roger. We all love you, okay?" John brushes back the curls that fell into Brian's face and wipes away a tear that escaped from his eyes. 

"But Roger will never want me. Just like Chrissie didn't want me. He'll never love me like I love him." John was surprised to see such deep emotion from the guitarist, they'd only known Roger for a month! Though, he understood. He was in a similar situation himself. 

"Chrissie didn't deserve you." John soothed, pulling the man in for a hug. He usually wasn't so affectionate, but John was still a bit drunk himself. "And give Roger some time. I think he's really falling for you." It was the truth, John had caught Roger gazing at the guitarist as if he was the moon and stars. It's quite precious, he'd admit. 

"Mmm," Brian grunted with closed eyes. "I'll give him.. time..." before John could respond, soft snoring came from the drunk man. 

John sighed and smiled a bit down at him before draping a blanket over the tall and going to grab a glass of water, painkillers, and a trash can. He put the items by his bedside and went to do the same for Freddie. He pressed a kiss to Freddie's forehead before retreating back to his own room to fall asleep.


	7. Merry Christmas

It was no surprise that the three of them suffered severe hangovers the next day. Brian had the worst, Freddie falling behind as a close second, and then poor John felt queasiness on a whole new level. 

A loud groan came from the bathroom as they all woke up that morning, or rather mid-afternoon. 

"Why did you let me drink so much?..." Brian groaned, resting his head on the toilet. 

"We didn't let you do shit, you prat." Freddie grumbled back, gripping his bucket for dear life, slumped against the bathroom wall. 

John let out a small whimper as he rested his head on the tiled wall, closing his eyes at the cool feeling. 

"Oh, you poor dear." Freddie cooed, wrapping his arm around the younger man. John rested his head on Freddie shoulder, eyes still shut. 

"You all look like complete shit." A voice came from the doorway, they all looked up to see the man, leaning against the frame with a smirk. 

Roger chuckled a bit at the three glares directed at him as he put the paper bags down on the table in the kitchen before returning to the three men. 

"You shits didn't show up to rehearsal. I sat and waited for you for three hours." Roger shook his head in mock disappointment. "So, I figured after that call last night, you were all hungover as hell. Or dead."

"Phone call? Someone called you?" Brian raised an eyebrow as John stiffened and watched with wide eyes. 

"You did, you wanker." Roger snorted, slightly relieved he didn't remember. "Anyway, I brought you guys some greasy food, burgers and fries. And Brian, I brought you a leaf." He smirked. 

"A leaf?.." he groaned, hardly in the mood for his jokes. 

"I'm kidding, Bri. I got you a veggie burger and a salad." He chuckled, leaning back against the doorframe and taking his sunglasses off. 

"Thanks, Rog." John gave him a weak smile before getting up and helping Freddie up.

"Thank you, darling." Freddie smiled, pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek and ruffling his hair. 

"Fred, you've been puking!" Roger crinkled his nose, wiping his cheek off as the older man chuckled and trudged to the kitchen. 

Brian, however, stayed completely still. He let out another groan as his body wretched. 

"Oh, Bri." Roger frowned, grabbing a tissue and giving it to him before running and grabbing a glass of water. 

"I think I'm dying..." he groaned, drinking the water down and slumping against the wall. 

"Maybe don't drink the whole liquor store next time." Roger chuckled, rubbing the taller mans back. 

"Rog, you drink that and more all the time." He glared, yet he still leaned into the touch. 

"I handle my hangovers better!" 

"Just last week you threw up in my planter pot and then cried for five minutes over it."

"I... was still drunk." Roger shook his head, letting out another chuckle. "Whatever, Bri. Come here." He wrapped an arm around him, handing him another tissue for his nose. 

"Thanks, Rog..." Brian said after a few minutes of silence. "I don't know what I said over the phone, but I'm sorry. It was nice of you to come over."

"Anytime." Rogers cheeks flushed a bit as his eyes fell to the floor. "You didn't say much on the phone, I could hardly understand you. Slurring so much." He faked a laugh, words from last night ringing in his ears yet again. 

"Oh good." Brian chuckled. "I can get a bit affectionate when I drink. I didn't want you getting weirded out."

Roger smiled through the pang that hit his heart. He really was too drunk to know what he was saying. 

"So, uh.. I just wanted to make sure you lot were still alive." He chuckled, unwrapping his arm from Brian and standing up. 

"You're not gonna stay?" Brian asked, his voice quiet and hoarse. 

"Well, I mean... do you want me to?" Blue eyes locked to hazel. 

"Please." Hazel locked to blue. 

"Of course."

_______________________  
Friday, December 24th

"Run through again! Take two!" An exasperated voice shouted. 

"You were going too slow!" A raspy voice shouted. 

"It's a Christmas song, it's supposed to be slow!" Came the risen calm voice. 

"It's basically creeping at the moment!! It's too slow!!"

"Oh fuck going slow..." He rolled his eyes. 

"Brian, Roger. Could you act like an old married couple AFTER the show! We have an hour until we have to be on stage!" Freddie crossed his arms at the men, who are now sporting matching blushed. 

"He started it..." Roger grumbled, getting an annoyed huff out of the guitarist. 

"Real mature, Roger."

"Your mum's mature." 

"ROGER!"

"Alright, I'll follow you then..." Roger grumbled, crossing his arms as he sat back down on his stool as Brian rolled his eyes. 

"Alright. One, two, three, four-" John counted, voice filled with amusement as the band resumed playing. 

They played through two more times without any complaint from the either man and then it was finally show time. 

"Nervous?" Brian asked, nudging Roger shoulder a bit. 

"Never." He grinned back up at him. "This is the biggest we've done now, but just wait until we're selling out arenas." His eyes lit up as his mind drifted to the sounds of people screaming his name. Their names. 

"You sound like Freddie." Brian chuckled, admiring Rogers hopeful eyes. 

"Oh we'll be stars one day, darling, we'll be legends!" Roger grinned, impersonating their lead singer. 

"I hate you, bitch." Freddie muttered, rolling his eyes playfully at the pair as they all laughed loudly. 

"One minute!" The stage hand called as Roger grabbed his sticks, drumming out a little beat on his knees before standing up and going behind his drums. 

The rest of the band followed suit, taking their positions as the crowd quieted down. 

"Hello, my dears." Freddie smiled into the microphone, walking up and down the stage. "My name is Freddie Mercury, that majestic ball of hair over there is our guitarist Brian May!" The crowd roared out with cheers. 

Brian gave a smile and wave to the crowd. 

"And to the left is our lovely funky dancing bassist, John Deacon!" 

John gave a shy, sweet smile and nod as the crowd cheered yet again. 

"And finally, this beautiful being behind me is our drummer Roger Taylor!!" Freddie smirked, rolling the 'R' of his name as the crowd screamed yet again. 

Roger stood up with his drum sticks raised, smiling brightly and winking out to the crowd. He chuckled when he heard girls screaming his name out. He sat back down with a bow and another wink, this time directed at the curly haired man watching him in amazement. 

Brian quickly turned around with a goofy smile, looking back out to the screaming audience. 

"And together, we make up a little something called Queen!!" Freddie beamed, raiding his arms in excitement as the crowd roared. 

_______________________

"That was incredible! They loved us! They bloody loved us!" Roger was bouncing back in their dressing room, face lit up so bright Brian was afraid he'd combust. 

"We were incredible!" Freddie grinned, pulling his shirt over his head. 

"The owner asked us to come back next month!" John announced, entering the room with a giddy smile on his face. 

"Really?" Brian grinned, zipping and buttoning his trousers. "That's amazing! God, this is the best we've done!"

They all grinned at each other before Roger forced them all into a group hug that lasted nearly two minutes. 

Visions of the future popped into their minds. Albums, tours, and sold out arenas filled their thoughts. They could see it now, Queen up in lights. Becoming actual legends. 

"Let's celebrate!" Freddie cried out, flinging his arms as he pulled the other three out to the bar area. 

Roger sat at the bar, sending Brian a warm smile as they made eye contact. Brian returned it immediately, chuckling when he saw three different women go up to him. 

"Your voice on that last song was just so beautiful! How do you sing that high?" One of the girls asked, smiling widely at him. 

"You're so good at drumming! You're just so passionate!" The second girl smiled. 

"Can I buy you a drink?" The last girl leaned in, touching his arm, he smiled and declined. 

Roger chuckled, making small talk with the girls. He glanced back up at Brian, who was grinning and talking to a woman about something. The two made eye contact and shared a sweet smile before Roger took a sip of his drink. 

"Are you gay?" 

Roger sputtered, choking and gasping on his drink. 

"I'm sorry, what?" His eyes were wide as the second girl giggled, he realized the that other two had left. 

"I saw you on stage, you were watching the guitar guy a lot and I saw you wink at him. And just now, you were gazing over at him." She smiled, sitting next to him. "I won't tell if you are." 

"I- uh.." Roger cleared his throat, cheeks burning a bit. "I guess I'm not too subtle then." he sighed, taking another sip of his drink. 

"Not at all, actually." She laughed. "Don't worry about the girl chatting him up either. That's my girlfriend." 

Roger smiled over at the girl, nodding a bit. 

"I'm Sara." She smiled back, offering a hand. "my girlfriends name is Sam."

"Roger and that's the guitar guy, Brian over there." He shook her hand. "How long have you been together?" He asked with a smile. 

"Tomorrow's our fifth anniversary. I'm asking her to marry me tomorrow night." She grinned, putting a finger to her lips. "I know we can't really get married yet, but I just want to show her that I'm hers forever. Well, if she'll have me."

Roger smiled softly at her. "That's amazing, really. Congratulations. She'll say yes, I'm sure."

"Yeah, I'm sure she will too. I love that little shit." She laughed, shaking her head. "No, but really. The show was incredible!"

"Thanks, Sara. It means a lot. Hey, hold on a second." Roger put up a finger, taking a pen from the counter and scribbling something down on a napkin. "Here's my number, so you and Sam can come to our next gig on me."

"Really? Oh my god, thanks, Roger!" She squealed, hugging the blond tightly. "She'll be so happy!"

"Consider it an engagement gift." He smirked, nudging her when she pulled back. "And when we get really big, I'll make sure you two get VIP." He winked. 

"You better." She laughed, gazing off in the direction of Sam. Roger smiled too as the woman returned the loving gaze. "Alright, well I need to get her home. Big day tomorrow." She smiled, the excitement bubbling over in her eyes. 

"Good luck!" He chuckles, standing up with her. 

"Good luck with Brian." She smiled softly. "Merry Christmas, Roger." 

"Merry Christmas." He smiled and watched her walk over to her girlfriend, giving her a quick kiss when they thought no one was looking. 

"I thought you were going to ditch us for a minute. Looked like you were hitting it off." A voice came up behind him, making the smaller man jump. 

"She's a lesbian, Brian." Roger turned around. "And quick sneaking up on me, you tit!" He chuckled. 

"Sorry, Rog." He chuckled, bumping their shoulders together. "About ready to head home?"

"Definitely. I could sleep for a century." Roger chuckled, bumping his shoulder back. 

They located Freddie and John again and they piled into the van before making their way to the flat. 

"Did Clare leave yet?" John asked, looking over at Roger.

"Yeah, she hopped a plane this morning. I'll have the flat to myself until after New Years." Roger grinned. He'd miss his sister, but he didn't mind some alone time. 

"You're staying with us tonight?" Freddie asked from the passenger seat, turning his head to look at the blond, giving him puppy dog eyes that rivaled his own. No one could say no to Freddie's puppy dog eyes. 

"Sure thing, Fred." He gave in, a smile tugging at his lips. This would be the first time in three years that he celebrates Christmas as Clare's been going to her boyfriends for the past three Christmases. 

They stepped inside, all four immediately falling on the couch, laughing as they got tangled together. 

Brian looked at the clock and smiled. 12:39am. 

"Merry Christmas, guys." He grinned as they all sat up. 

"Merry Christmas, darlings!"

"Merry Christmas." Roger and John echoed, both grinning widely. 

"Alright, I'm beyond tired. I'll see you in the morning." Freddie smiled before retreating to his bedroom.

They all muttered their goodnights, yawning. Freddie and John went into their shared bedroom while Brian stayed on the couch for a few more minutes with Roger. 

"Thanks for staying." Brian said quietly, offering Roger a small smile. 

"Thanks for letting me." He shot back with a grin, leaning back into the couch. 

A bit of giggling came from behind the door of the shared bedroom and Brian rolled his eyes with a smile. 

"Don't take my word for it, but Freddie and Deaky... I think somethings going on there." Brian chuckled when Roger raised his eyebrows. 

"Really? Freddie and Deaky? How do you know?"

"Well, for one, my bedroom is right next to theirs. And when Deaky moved in two weeks ago, their beds were separate. I caught a peek a few days ago and they were pushed together." Brian said, leaning back into the cushions and letting out a small laugh. 

"Oh. Damn." Roger chuckled. "Half the band is in love with each other I guess. Maybe we're next." Roger laughed, elbowing the older man who choked a bit, his face going red. 

"Wh-What?" Brian coughed, eyes wide. 

"Brian, I'm kidding!" Roger let out a small laugh, nudging him playfully. "I'd prefer Freddie anyway." He winked. 

"R-Right." Brian chuckled nervously. "Yeah, that's funny."

Roger rolled his eyes and laid out on the couch, resting his head on the pillow and legs over Brian's lap. 

"Don't you want me to turn it into a bed?" Brian asked, looking over at the sprawled our blond. 

"Nope." He popped the 'p'. "I can't move, Bri. Too tired." He yawned. 

Brian rolled his eyes and draped a blanket over the smaller man who snuggled into it immediately. 

"Goodnight, Bri." He smiled up at him. 

"Goodnight, Rog." He returned the smile, their eyes lingering in each other a bit too long, hardly noticing himself stepping closer. 

"Merry Christmas." Roger said softly, watching with wide eyes as he approached slowly. 

"Merry Christmas..." Brian repeated, eyes never leaving the pool of blue as he began leaning down closer to his face. 

"B-Bri?.." Rogers eyes widened even more, he swallowed as he watched Brian leaning in.

Brian's own eyes widened as he blinked, quickly he hugged the blond. 

"Brian? What the hell are you doing?" Roger laughed, hugging him back. What the hell just happened?

"J-Just in a jolly mood I guess." Brian chuckled nervously. "I'll see you in the morning, goodnight!" He said quickly, running to his room and shutting the door. 

"Goodnight?" Roger shouted, laying back down and staring at the ceiling. 

'Was he going to kiss me?'  
'Was I going to kiss him?!'  
_______________________  
CHRISTMAS DAY

Brian gazed over at the sleeping man on his couch, chuckling softly as he noticed how his mouth was slightly open and he was drooling a bit. 

He shook his head and went into the kitchen as he began to make breakfast for everyone, as he usually did. 

He was halfway done making the pancakes when he heard shuffling behind him and a soft yawn. 

"I thought you were a vegetarian?" 

When Brian turned around, his heart skipped a beat. Roger was standing in front of him, hair sticking up in every direction, cheeks flushed, big doe eyes that were heavy with sleep, and a tired little smile on his lips. He was absolutely beautiful. 

"Bri?" The blond furrowed his eyebrows, looking at him with an amused smile as he motioned to the plate of bacon. 

"Oh! I am, that's for you!" Brian grinned. "And Freddie and Deaky too, but I know you love bacon so I went out and got you some yesterday before the gig." 

Roger smiled softly at the brunette, crossing his arms. "So you were planning on me staying the night?"

"W-Well, yes. But no! No, I didn't! But I knew you'd be here and I wouldn't force anyone to be vegetarian!" Brian stuttered out, fiddling his thumbs as Roger laughed. 

"Bri, loosen up. I wanted to stay, my apartment is creepy without Clare." Roger shrugged, smiling over at him. "Thanks for the thought though. Need any help?"

"Help?" Brian raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes, Brian. I can help cook, I'm not a useless twat." He chuckled, walking closer to him. 

"I never said you were, I just... didn't think you could cook." Brian shrugged, putting the rest of the pancakes on a plate. 

"I can't, but I can help." Roger gave him a cheeky grin. 

"Right. How about you make a pot of coffee?" Brian chuckled, motioning over to the coffee machine. 

"Pssh, that's easy." He scoffed, going over and putting the coffee grounds in before starting the pot and smirking over at Brian.

"Hey, Rog?"

"What? See, I'm perfect wife material! I could run a household!" Roger grinned, winking at him and leaned against the counter. 

"Yeah, sure... But, Roger?"

"The world would crumble without me, as I am the backbone of society!" He said dramatically, grinning widely. 

"Rog, I'm sure you are, but-" 

"Just you wait, Bri, because you're about to have the best cup of coffee you've ever had!"

"Roger, you didn't add any water." Brian deadpanned. "It's empty."

"Oh, fuck." 

Brian laughed as he filled the machine with water and it began brewing. 

"You were saying?" Brian smirked, putting a hand on his hip. "You're the... backbone? Of society?"

"Oh, piss off! You distracted me with your disbelief!" Roger laughed, getting down four mugs for each of the boys. 

"Not my devilish good looks?" Brian joked, setting the food on the table. 

"That may have been a factor." Roger joked back. "I swear I'm not stupid, I'm just tired." Roger yawned. 

"I know you're not stupid, Rog. I, for one, think you're quite brilliant." Brian smiled, ignoring the burning of his cheeks at the joking banter. 

"Aw, thanks, Bri." Roger chuckled, nudging his shoulder as he poured four glasses of orange juice and put them at the table. "Feels like we're setting up for our children." Roger rolled his eyes with a snort. 

"Funny, that's how Deaky and I feel about you and Fred all the time." Brian laughed, as they finished setting up breakfast. 

"Prat." Roger laughed as he walked over to Freddie and Johns room, knocking loudly. 

"Wake up, sleepyheads!!" He shouted, barging into the bedroom before letting out a scream. 

"Roger, get out!!" Freddie screamed back as John hid his face in the pile of blankets, both desperately trying to cover themselves. 

Roger suddenly began laughing hysterically. "On Christmas morning?! Now, what would Jesus say?" He laughed harder when Freddie threw a pillow at his face. 

"You're not even religious, you shit!"

"Roger, please leave!" John squeaked, his face as red a tomato. 

Roger threw the pillow back and smirked. "Breakfast is ready!" He shut the door quickly before anyone could throw anything else at him. 

Brian raised an eyebrow at the hysterical blond, wiping tears from his eyes. 

"Do I want to know?" He crosses his arms, eyes twinkling with amusement. 

"You were right about Deaky and Freddie. And they're not going to be out for a while." Roger smirked, plopping down in his chair. 

The door to the bedroom opened to reveal a blushing John and an annoyed Freddie.

"What if I walked in on one of your shags, Roger?" Freddie crosses his arms. "Not that you're a shag, darling." He reassured John when he saw him pull a sassy face at the singer. 

"Well, for one, I'd ask you why you were in my flat." Roger laughed. "Alright, sorry. Congrats on your," he motioned his finger between the two, "relationship? This isn't a fling, right?"

"No, it's not a fling, you twat." Freddie rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around a smiling John. 

"Well, we're happy for you both." Brian smiled, sitting down at the table. 

"Thank you, guys." John smiled, sitting down along with Freddie. 

"Thank you, dears. I was afraid you'd be a bit put off." Freddie smiled as the all began serving themselves and eating breakfast. 

"Of course we're not! Right, Rog?" Brian glanced over at the blond who had just shoved an entire pancake in his mouth. 

"Huh? Of course not!" Roger mumbled through the pancake, getting a laugh out of Freddie and John and a mix of disgust and concern from Brian. 

They all quickly finished their breakfast before going into the living room and sitting on the couch, though Roger decided to sit on a pillow on the floor by Brian's legs instead. 

They exchanged a few gifts, smiling widely at one another. 

"It's a new strap, I noticed yours was getting a bit worn out. It's fake leather!" Roger grinned, giving Brian his gift, which was a faux leather guitar strap with stars scattering the length of it. "The stars are supposed to be real constellations, but I'm not too sure if they're accurate or not." He said a bit shyly, smiling at him. 

"I love it, Rog. Thank you." He returned the smile before handing Roger a long, rectangular box. 

Roger smile widened. "You got me a gift too?"

"Yes, now open it!" Brian laughed, sitting back into the couch. 

Roger grinned and tore open the paper before carefully lifting the lid on the box. His eyes lit up when they rested upon a pair of silver drumsticks, engraved with his initials. 

"Wow, Bri... These are..." Roger jumped up and hugged him, grinning ear to ear. "I love them." He said quietly, next to his ear. 

Brian chuckled. "I remember, you saw them in the music shop downtown and you could hardly take your eyes off them. I went back and grabbed them that night." He grinned, hugging the smaller man back. 

CLICK

"You two are just precious." Freddie beamed, shaking the Polaroid in his hand. 

Roger rolled his eyes with a laugh and he gave John and Freddie their presents. He got Freddie a scarf that he'd mentioned seeing in the shop and got John the new ABBA record that he loved from the radio. 

All four boys sat around, eating and laughing before starting a game of scrabble. Roger ended up winning because he kept using words from his biology textbook, which Freddie claimed was cheating. 

"Freddie, swak isn't a word!" Roger rolled his eyes. 

"Yes it is! It means 'sealed with a kiss'!" Freddie crosses his arms. 

"That's an acronym, Fred." Brian said, putting a few tiles down. 

Roger grinned, adding a few more tiles to create the word 'acronym'. 

"That doesn't count, you stole Brian's big word!" Freddie yelled as Roger shot him a cheeky grin. 

"It's still a word, Freddie." John pipped up, putting a few tiles down to spell out 'cheese'. 

As the day went on, they switched from coffee and orange juice, to eggnog and liquor. Happily buzzed but not drunk, they played all the games they owned. 

"Let's play-" hiccup "twister!" Roger grinned, holding up the box.

"Eh, what the hell!" Freddie grinned before they all moved the couch back against the wall and set up the mat. 

"I'll be the spinner!" John called, sitting back on the couch with the spinner in hand. 

"Ready, Bri?" Roger grinned, his eyes a bit glossed over from his tipsy state. 

"We all know Brian's going to win, his legs are longer than Rogers whole body!"

"Freddie, I'm taller than you." Roger snorted. 

"Not where it counts." Freddie winked as Brian and John laughed loudly. 

"Piss off." Roger laughed as they all got on the mat. 

"Left foot, yellow!"  
"Right foot, green!"  
"Right hand, blue!"  
"Left hand, red!"

Freddie was first to fall when he tried to stretch for a yellow dot that Brian had already claimed. He ended up slipping and laughing only to join John on the couch to call out directions. 

"Bloody hell, Bri, how can you reach that far?!" Roger yelled, his face turning red as he tried to keep up with Johns instructions. He called out a few different colors and limbs that forced Roger into a crab-walking position with Brian hovering over top on him. 

John called out to move their left feet to the red dot when Roger heard a gasp and then suddenly felt a heavy weight on top of him complete with laughter around the room. 

"Oh my god, Roger! Are you okay?" Brian asked, lying face to face on top on the blond. 

"Just peachy, Bri." Roger choked out, his cheeks turning pick as he looked up into worried eyes. "Could you hop off?.."

"Right! Sorry!" Brian rolled off him and offered a hand up. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Roger laugh, getting up to his feet. "I definitely won though, you fell on me!"

"Alright, sure. You won." Brian smiled, sporting a blush of his own on his cheeks. 

"You know what? It's Christmas, let's call it a tie." Roger grinned, throwing an arm around Brian's shoulders, standing on his tiptoes before Brian crouched down a bit. 

"Sounds fair to me." Brian grinned back as their eyes met. Brian hardly realized he was staring until Roger frowned. 

"What? Is there something on my face?" He asked, wiping at his face a bit. 

"Uh, I thought I saw a piece of dirt, but it's a freckle!" Brian blurted, looking around the room awkwardly as he stepped back. 

"I don't have freckles." Roger furrowed his eyebrows with a small frown. 

Brian dipped his thumb in water and swiped across a wide-eyed Rogers cheek. "There! I got it! Must've been chocolate!" He laughed as Freddie and John cackled in the background. 

"Thanks, mum." Roger chuckled as he cleaned up the game. Freddie and John moved the couch back as Roger began putting his shoes on. 

"Rog? What are you doing?" Brian asked, walking over to the blond who was standing by the door. 

"I'm going home?" Roger frowned, tilting his head in a puppy-like fashion, his eyes filled with confusion. 

"You're not staying the night?" Brian frowned, looking at the time. 2:39am. Christmas was officially over. 

"Brian, I don't live here." Roger chuckled. "I'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

"Why don't you move in?" Brian blurted as Roger looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Um, I don't know... I don't think..." Roger stuttered before frowning up at Brian. "No. I can't leave Clare."

"Rog, she's not a kid, I'm sure she can live on her own." Brian rolled his eyes, getting a scowl out of the blond. 

"I said no, Brian. Why the hell are you pushing this so much?" Roger backed up, frowning up at the guitarist. 

"Roger, I'm sorry, okay? I just... I thought it might be nice if the whole band could live together. Won't you at least think about it?" Brian stepped closer, frowning down at the defensive man. "At least stay the night, Rog, it's freezing outside and it's late."

"I..." Roger swallowed, his eyes meeting the taller mans. "Fine, I'll think about it. I do have to go home at some point though." Roger crosses his arms. "My clothes are filthy."

"You can borrow some of my pajamas." Brian suggested as Roger snorted. 

"Okay, let me just grow twelve feet to fit into them." He scoffed, though a smile was now creeping up to his face. 

Brian rolled his eyes and grabbed some of his pajamas from his bedroom before handing them to the smaller man. "They're a bit small on me." He shrugged as Roger popped his shoes off with an eye roll and a smile. 

"Thanks, Bri." He said, slipping into the bathroom and putting the pajamas on. He chuckled when he saw himself swimming in the clothes. 

Roger opened the door and slid across the floor using the extra fabric from the pants that went past his feet, grinned at Brian. "It's like ice skating with your pants." He chuckled. 

"Careful before you slip and die!" Brian chuckled, shaking his head at the younger man. "Let me set up the couch for y-" Brian walked over to the couch, to be greeted with a sleeping Freddie and John, cuddled up under the blankets on the couch. "Erm, they took your bed... You can sleep in their room if you'd li-"

"After what I saw in there this morning, hell no." He shuttered. 

"So... I mean, if you don't mind, you could uh... you could..." Brian stammered. 

"Share with you? Sure." Roger grinned, running and sliding across the floor and jumping into Brian's bed. 

Brian chuckled, climbing in next to him as he pulled the covers over them both. 

"That was the best Christmas I've ever had." Roger whispered into the dark, eyes turning to the curly haired figure. 

"Me too." Brian whispered back, smiling softly as his eyes met Roger's, the blue glowing from the dim city light streaming through the window. "I'm really glad you decided to come."

"There's no place I would've rather been." He spoke truthfully, closing his eyes. "Goodnight, Bri." He breathed, before falling asleep. 

"Goodnight, Rog." He smiled at the soft breathing next to him, making him feel something he hadn't in years. 

Brian didn't mention it when Roger curled up into his side, or how he woke up with his head on his chest. 

And neither of them mentioned just how perfect it felt to wake up next to each other the next morning.


	8. Is That All I Am To You?

~A Year and a Half Later~

"Roger, I need to talk to you about something." Clare said, shuffling her feet a bit. "I know you tend to overreact to things like this, so sit down okay?" 

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?" Rogers eyes widened. "Oh shit, you are, aren't you? Oh god, okay. I'm fine." He paced the room, pulling at his hair a bit. "I'm gonna throw up..."

"Roger! No, I'm not pregnant, you twit!" She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Calm down, Roggie."

"How the hell am I going to be calm when you come up to me acting so bloody guilty?" Roger frowned, sitting down at taking a deep breath. "Alright, fine. I'm fine."

"God, you're such a drama queen." Clare rolled her eyes. 

"I'm sensitive!" Roger pouted.

"Anyway, what I was trying to say before your weird little meltdown. So, Matt and I have been talking and we've been together for four years now... I'm moving in with him, Roggie. Well, he's moving in here." Clare said, looking down at her lap and nervously pulling at a thread on her skirt. 

"That's... That's great, Clare." Roger smiled softly at his little sister, getting up and hugging the small girl. 

"You're not mad? I thought you'd be mad." Clare mumbled into the hug. 

"Clare, you're an adult. You're nearly twenty-two. I can't tell you what to do." Roger shrugged. "And I like Matt. He's a good guy. I'll kick his ass if he hurts you, but I like him. Plus, another roommate will help with rent." 

"He's moving in next week. You won't be weird about it? Do you promise?" 

"I swear on my life."  
_______________________  
Two Weeks Later

Roger was woken up for the fifth time that week by the sounds of the bed squeaking. Normally, he would just shove his face into a pillow with earplugs in and sing Beatles songs to himself until he knew it was over, but this was the last straw. 

Roger got out of bed, hair an absolute mess and quickly put on a pair of pajama pants and shoving his feet into his beloved pink converse. He grabbed his keys and walked out the door, slamming it loudly out of pure annoyance. 

"Why the hell are you slamming doors at 2:30 am, Taylor?!" The old man next door yelled. 

"Oh, fuck off, Bill." Roger grumbled back, ignoring his wife's gasp and complaints about the disrespectful mannerisms of today's youth. 

He got in his car quickly, turning the music up as high as his ears could take and sped over to Brian, Freddie, and Johns flat. Parking his car quickly and getting out with a pat to her hood, he quickly stumbled up the steps, tripping a few times before knocking frantically at the door. 

"Some of us are trying to sleep!" Their neighbor shouted through the door. 

Roger rolled his eyes and continued knocking until an extremely disheveled Brian answered the door. 

"Roger? Are you okay? It's like three in the morning?" He frowned, using his hand to stifle a yawn. 

Roger pushed past him, walking into the flat. He shook his head as he began pacing the room. 

"Rog, what's wrong?" Brian frowned, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop his pacing. His concern deepened when he noticed the bags under his wide eyes and the upset look on his face. 

"I can't take it anymore. They have sex every night. They never stop. They, they never stop, Brian! It's constant! The walls are so thin!" He was hysterical, pulling at his hair. "I tried to ignore it, but it's just-" he shuddered. "That's my little sister and I just, oh god, I can't take it anymore!"

"Have you tried earplugs?" Brian frowned, glancing to his bedroom. 

"What? Of course I have! It's been five bloody nights! I can't sleep! They're so fucking loud!"

"Maybe this is karma from all your shags?..." Brian joked, nudging the squealing blond and shushing him a bit. 

"Excuse me? I NEVER bring anyone back to my flat unless I know she's not there!" Roger huffed, growing annoyed at Brian's jumpy gaze. He followed his eyes into the bedroom and saw a person laying in his bed. Roger felt himself pale a bit and backed up from the guitarist. "O-Oh... I didn't know you had company." He stammered, eyes glued to the ground. "Whatever. I'm just gonna go." 

Brian felt his cheeks grow hot. He had been at the pub all night, had one too many and brought some girl back. He was just as surprised as Roger to see her when he woke up to the frantic knocking. 

"Roger, you can stay on the couch if you'd like." Brian frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt pretty sober now. 

"No! God, this night is awful!" He turned towards the door and opened it. "I'm just going to sleep in my bloody car." He muttered. 

"Roger, don't be so fucking ridiculous! Where is this even coming from?" Brian crosses his arms, giving Roger an annoyed look. 

"I haven't slept in five days and I haven't shagged anyone is six bloody months! Excuse me if I'm a little on edge!" Roger yelled back, face flushing at his own outburst. God he needed some sleep. "And now you even have some floozy in your bed!" 

"Quiet down over there!!" The neighbor yelled through the wall. 

"Mind your business, arsehole!!" Roger retorted, glaring at the wall. 

"Okay, Roger, just calm down..." Brian started gently, getting closer. 

"Are you drunk?" Roger frowned, smelling the alcohol on the taller man. 

"Uh... A little." Brian admitted sheepishly. 

Roger rubbed his face. "Why am I even upset about this? He can do what he wants and shag who he wants." He muttered to himself. 

"What was that, Rog?" Brian frowned, leaning in a bit to try and hear him. 

"I need a smoke." Roger turned around and slammed the door, before walking out to his car and lighting a cigarette. 

He took a long drag and closed his eyes. He had gotten over Brian. At least he told himself he did. It was clear that the taller man didn't feel the same. He had a woman in his bed for Christ's sake! 

He couldn't be in love with Brian. Roger didn't do love. He had relationships that lasted four to five business days and then moved on. No feelings attached. So why was he so caught up in the curly haired giant? 

"I don't know why you're mad at me, but I'm sorry." The gentle voice came from behind him, startling him a little and causing him to burn himself on the cigarette. 

"Christ, Bri. Stop sneaking up on me." Roger sighed. "I'm not... I'm not mad at you. I'm just having a shit week." 

"Well, alright then." Brian stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Have you really not had sex in six months?" He blamed the alcohol for his stupid question. 

"Really, Bri?" Roger raised his eyebrow. It's not like he hadn't tried. He went on quite a few dates, but they all ended the same. Kiss on the cheek, promise to call, and never do. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Every date he went on invited him up to their flat, but he said no every time. They were all missing something.

'They weren't Brian' He pushed the thought away. It had to just be some weird funk he was in. Some weird, six month funk. 

"I just, I always assumed that since so many women flocked around you and you always flirted back with them that you ended up... you know."

"Fucking them? Don't be such a prude, Brian. If you're going to bring this is up, you gotta use your big boy words." The lack of sleep really made for a bitchy Roger. "And no. I've been... busy."

"Doing what?" Brian frowned, crossing his arms. He was intrigued, he just assumed Roger had a new girl every night. 

"Finishing school, running the stall with Freddie, band practice, trying to save up for the next album." He listed off, sending a glare to Brian as if reading his thoughts. "What? You just thought I was the band slut, finding different people to seduce every night?"

"Well, you sure act like it." Brian was annoyed with himself, where was his filter? But he couldn't stop the words from escaping his mouth. "Why are you so upset about me being with a girl? You never seem to have a problem before when it was you sleeping around! You shagged whoever you wanted, and paraded it around! Now I have a single one night stand and I'm a monster?! Maybe you are just a slut! Do you ever even consider anyone else's feelings but your own?!" Brian regretted the words as they came out. He knew he didn't mean it, he was just angry and a bit drunk. He didn't want to admit the fact that he was jealous each time Roger talked about his new girlfriends. The guilt felt like a knife when he saw the blue eyes he loves so much sparkle with tears. 

Rogers glare dropped as he tried to blink back the tears. He hadn't expected Brian to actually agree. And he definitely hadn't expected so bluntly. 

"Is that all I am to you?" His voice cracked, he couldn't even yell back. The hurt was evident in his voice. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he was too tired to care. "I should go." 

"Rog, I-." Brian frowned, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. His frown deepened when Roger flinched away. 

"Don't touch me, Bri. Just... leave me alone." Roger kept his gaze down as he got in the car, starting it and pulling away as fast as he could, leaving a guilt ridden Brian behind. 

Roger didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care. When the rain started, he didn't even bother slowing down. With tears streaming down his cheeks, he took a shaky breath. 

'I knew he didn't want me.' He thought bitterly, his harsh words lingering in his head. He thought back to the kind voice on the radio. The one he couldn't help but fall for. 'And now he hates me.'

He did it again. He let himself fall in love and now he's hurt. "How could I be so bloody stupid?!" He yelled to no one in particular. 

The rain fell harder, making it more difficult to see along with the tears flooding his eyes. He took a moment to calm his breathing before looking back to the road a second later to see the flash of white. 

And then everything went black.  
_______________________

Brian rubbed his eyes as he watched the girl from last night walk out the door. She had told him that they didn't do anything and that he just talked about some blond guy all night before falling asleep. Poor girl fell asleep out of pure boredom listening to Brian's weird gay panic. 

He sighed, thinking back to the argument before. He'd go and apologize tomorrow after Roger cooled down a bit. He hoped that he just went straight home and not to some pub. 

The sudden trill of the phone cut off his thoughts. It was probably Roger calling to apologize, though Brian felt he had nothing to apologize for. Roger was just upset and Brian was out of line this time. 

"Hello?" Brian's voice was strained and he cursed himself for sounding so weak. 

"Hello? May I speak to a Mr. Brian May?" An unfamiliar voice came through the phone, I frowned a bit at the severity of the voice. 

"Yes, this is him." Brian muttered, leaning on the counter. 

"Mr. May, we're calling to inform you that Mr. Roger Taylor has been involved in a serious accident."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated if you’ve got any opinions or pointers! Thank you! :)


	9. We Never Mean What We Always Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, at least not yet. The info I'm using for the story is basically guessing and some medical knowledge I know from my nursing classes! Feel free to correct me though!

"Mr. May, we're calling to inform you that Mr. Roger Taylor has been involved in a serious accident."

Brian felt his stomach drop and his face pale. This couldn't be real. This was a dream, it had to be a dream. 

"Sir? Hello?"

"Y-Yes, I'm here." I swallowed. He heard her speaking but he wasn't registering a single word she said. "Where is he?" He croaked out. 

"He's at The Royal London Hospital."

Brian slammed the phone back on the hook and barged into Freddie and Johns room.

"Brian, what the hell?" Freddie groaned, sitting up and noticing tears rolling down his pale cheeks. "Darling, are you alright?..."

"Roger's in the hospital. H-He got into an accident." Brian was frozen in place, a sob shook his body as the two men jumped out of bed and surrounded him in a hug.

As the parted, the two quickly put pants on and they all ran out to the van. John had his knees to his chest, sobbing quietly as Freddie held him close, shaking as tears flowed from his eyes. 

They didn't know if he was alive or dead. He could've died by now, alone in a hospital bed. Scared and in pain. Brian bit his fist to keep from letting out another sob and they pulled into the hospital parking lot. 

"W-We're here for Roger Taylor." Freddie spoke to the nurse at the desk. 

"Are you family?" She asked, looking up at the tearful man with an unfazed expression. Freddie was sure she's seen this kind of situation a million times by now. 

"Not by blood." He said shakily. "We just need to know if he's alive. Please."

"I'm sorry, I can only give information to blood relatives." She frowned deeply. "None of you are related to him?"

"I-I am." A soft voice came behind them as Clare walked up to the lady. "He's my brother. Please."

The nurse bit her lip and nodded, looking at the file. "The doctors are doing what they can, they have him in surgery now to stop some internal bleeding along with a collapsed lung. The report says that a drunk driver lost control of their car in the rain and collided head on with Mr. Taylor's vehicle. Due to Mr. Taylor's excessive speed, the car flipped multiple times."

Clare's whole body was shaking as she sobbed, nearly falling to the ground before Brian and Freddie caught her. 

"The doctor will be out with updates as soon as possible." The nurse said gently. 

Brian and Freddie helped the small woman sit in the chair. She covered her face and cried silently. 

Brian stood up and walked to the wall, clenching his jaw as a sob shook his body.

"Bri, y-you should sit down.." Johns voice quivered as he tried to remain calm. 

"I-I can't.. Wh-What if he dies, Deaky?! I can't lose him!" Brian sobbed as John wrapped his arms around the man. "I-I can't lose him, John..."

"You won't. We won't lose him. He's Roger Fucking Taylor. He's not going out like this." Freddie spoke up, pushing the curls off his wet cheeks.

"We got into a fight tonight..." Brian spoke, his voice breaking with each word. "The things... God, the things I said to him!" Another sob broke through his body. 

"You saw him tonight? H-He was in bed when I last saw him..." Clare looked over at the tall man, eyes shining with tears. 

"H-He came over at around three, he was upset about... some things and we just, we got into an argument and he left. I shouldn't have let him leave." Clare stood up and wrapped her arms around the taller man. "I didn't mean what I said, I was just so angry." His arms tightened around the young woman. 

"We never mean what we always say, Brian. Roger knows that... He loves you...and the guys. Nothing could change that." Clare spoke tearfully. "He'll make it through, okay? Roger is too stubborn to die."

A doctor walked out, looking to Clare. "Are you Clare Taylor?"

"Y-Yes. I am." Her voice was shaking, but the boys could tell that she was playing tough. They all stood behind her, each putting a supportive hand on her shoulders. 

"Hello, I'm Doctor Anderson. Mr. Taylor is stable, he's out of surgery. His injuries was extensive, but we expect him to pull through. He's a fighter, that's for sure." The doctor spoke kindly, his eyes showing full compassion for the girl in front of him. "The next twenty-four hours are important, and we'll be keeping a close eye on him."

"H-He could still die?" Brian heard his voice ask, his mind blank and empty. 

"I won't lie to you, it's a possibility. We are still waiting to see if he'll wake up. Then we'll assess for any brain damage and check his other injuries."

"What... What other injuries?" Clare swallowed, any amount of trying to stay tough disintegrating away. 

"He has a gash on his head, he broke several ribs, and his right lung collapsed due to a broke rib impaling it. He also has severe bruising on his back and abdominal area. We found internal bleeding, but luckily we caught it in time." The doctor read through the list, his voice much calmer than anyone in the room was feeling. 

"C-Can we see him?" Brian's eyes pleaded to the doctor. 

"Yes, but I have to warn you. He's attached to quite a few machines, including a ventilator to help him breath. It may be shocking to see, so I ask that you brace yourselves." The doctors hand was on Brian's shoulder. "Room 39, on the right."

The four walked down the hall at a brisk pace before coming up to the shut door. 

Room 39. 

The deep breath Brian took did nothing to prepare him for the sight he saw when he opened the door. 

There in the hospital bed was the small, frail blond. His face was paler than Brian had ever seen it before and he had a tube taped to the side of his mouth. Brian noticed that his lip was split and swollen and that the gash was nearly covered by the mess of hair in his face. 

Clare let out a strangled sob before falling into a chair beside the bed, grasping his brothers hand. 

"Roggie... You have to wake up, okay? We all need you." She whispered, tears rolling off her cheeks onto the bed. 

Freddie held his other hand, brushing away his slightly damp hair. They must've had to wash that blood out of it. 

Brian looked at the older mans face as he looked at Roger. He had never seen Freddie like that before, his face was blank and tears rolled down his cheeks. 

"He should be waking up in the morning. You can all go home and rest if you'd like." The nurse in charge of Rogers case said from the doorway. 

"I'm staying." Brian's voice was weaker than he had intended for it to be. 

"Only one person can stay the night." She informed, looking around at each person in the room. 

"Brian, you can stay if you really want to." Clare said quietly, not taking her gaze off of her brother. "I'll be back first thing in the morning, and I'll bring him some of his things."

Brian nodded, stepping closer to his best friend and brushing his blond hair out of his face. He looked calm in his sleep. It reminded him of the night he slept in his bed with him, only now Rogers face was covered in cuts and bruises. 

Soon the other three left, all agreeing to come back in a few hours when it was officially morning. 

Brian sat in the chair beside the bed, watching Roger breath through the machine. It was hard to see. Even if he often wore his heart on his sleeve, he never wanted to be seen as weak or fragile. And that's exactly how he looked at the moment. As if a gentle touch would cause him to crumble. 

A few silent tears fell from Brian's eyes. He wanted nothing more than to see those blue eyes again. Even if they were the same broken and hurt ones he saw earlier. 

"I didn't mean it, Rog. Not a single word of it. I just... I was an idiot to let you go. I should've made you stay, kicked that girl out and told you how much I love you." His own words surprised him again. He just admitted that he loved Roger. To his face. At least physically, because Roger was still under the effects of whatever medicine the doctors gave him and off in some dream land. The breathing tube was replaced with a nose cannula as they found he was breathing by himself when the anesthesia wore off. He looked so peaceful, despite the clear injuries on his face. 

"I think I have from the day we met, really. When Freddie was throwing a fit and insulting all the drummers, then you came in with your cocky smile and beautiful eyes. We didn't even need to hear you play to know you were absolutely perfect." Brian sniffled, smiling at the memory. "I fell in love with you the moment I saw your face, the second I heard your voice, and the minute you came into my life." The heart monitor remained a steady pace. 

"I just... I knew you didn't feel the same. Why would you? You could have anyone you want, why would you choose me?" Brian rested his head on the bed, taking a shaky breath. 

"I don't care if you never love me back, I just... I need you in my life." He whispered, gently caressing the bruised cheek. 

"It's like you're a million years away. I wonder if you can hear me." Brian mused as his hand moved to his blond locks. "Can you hear me calling you?"

Brian shook his head as he got no response. He hadn't expected one, reasonably, but part of him wanted Roger to wake up and tell him he heard it all and he felt the same. 

As hours past, Brian felt his eyes grow heavy and fell asleep, his head resting on the hard railing of the bed and his hand tightly intertwined in Rogers limp one. 

He dreamt of space, music, and Roger. By the time he woke, he reached for a piece of paper and scribbled down his thoughts. 

In the room 39?  
Ugh, no.   
In the year '39....  
Perfect.   
(See what I did there? Sooo original lol )  
_______________________  
Three Days Later

Brian has hardly left the room, besides for using the restroom and giving Roger privacy during the sponge baths. 

He hadn't woken up. The doctors found swelling in his brain and put him in a medically induced coma two days ago. The swelling went down and stayed down and he was supposed to wake up yesterday. 

But he didn't. 

Doctor Anderson said his brain activity was strong and his injuries weren't preventing him from waking up, he was even breathing on his own. They couldn't explain it. He said Roger will wake up when he's ready, it might be anytime from now to next week. 

Brian leaned back in the chair with the Red Special perched in his lap as he broke his gaze from Roger down to the guitar and began strumming a few chords before playing '39 and singing softly to the unconscious man. 

"For my life. Still ahead. Pity me." With one final chord, he took a shaky breath.

He missed his best friend. No amount of singing lovesick songs about him, to him, would bring him back. 

"Do Fat Bottom Girls next, Bri." A raspy voice met his ears, nearly making him drop his beloved guitar. He quickly put it down. 

"Holy shit!" Brian exclaimed, his teary eyes met confused blue ones. "You're awake!"

"Unfortunately, I feel like I got hit by a truck..." Roger brought a shaky hand it his head, wincing in pain at the movement. "Bri, w-what happened?" Roger wasn't high anymore, Brian could see that any pain medication he was on had worn off just by looking at his confused, scared, and pained eyes.

"You... You got into a car accident, Rog." Brian took his shaking hand into his own, looking into his eyes. 

"What? I-I don't... I don't remember that. I-I was just driving to your flat because I couldn't sleep. I don't remember crashing." Roger furrowed his eyebrows.

He didn't remember the fight. Brian felt guilt twist in his stomach, he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted with a soft sob. "Rog? Rog, what's wrong?"

"I-It hurts, everything hurts!" He squeaked, closing his eyes tightly. He let out another whimper and soon tears trailed down his cheeks. 

"I-I'll get a doctor!" Brian said with wide eyes, quickly standing up. 

"No! D-Don't leave me, Bri!" Roger grabbed his hand weakly, his eyes wide and panicked. 

"Rog, I'll be right back. I'm getting you some medicine. It'll help you." Roger let go, but he was still shaking. Brian ran out of the room, before dragging the doctor back into the room, watching as he gave Roger some medicine for the pain and assessed him further, finding slight amnesia around the time of the accident. The doctor left after a brief explanation of his accident and injuries. 

After a few minutes, Roger just stared straight ahead silently. 

"How are you feeling, Rog?" Brian asked, gently taking his hand. He was glad the blond hadn't fallen asleep again. 

"The other people in the accident... are they okay?" Roger asked, looking at him with his slightly droopy eyes. They were still heavy from all the sleep he has gotten. 

"Oh, Rog..." Brian swallowed. He couldn't lie to him. "They... They didn't make it."

Rogers face twisted a bit before a stream of tears left his eyes. "W-Was it my fault?"

"Of course not! They were drunk, Rog. They crossed over to the wrong side of the road and the rain didn't help." He purposely left out the part about Rogers speeding. The authorities just assumed he was speeding, there was no proof. 

Roger bit his lip, yelping when he realized it was split. 

"Roger?!" Brian and Rogers eyes snapped up at the three people in the doorway. 

"Oh my god, Roggie!" Clare cried, gently hugging the blond. 

"C-Careful..." Roger muttered, hugging her back as much as he could.

"Oh, darling, we thought we lost you!" Freddie cried, also going to hug the man, Johns quickly following suit until he had three sets of arms around him. 

They didn't pull away until they felt his body shaking. As if he were a thousand degrees, they backed up quickly. They thought he might've been laughing, but they were wrong. 

Rogers body shook and he began sobbing quietly, his breathing becoming raspy and uneven. Brian recognized it as the beginnings of a panic attack. 

"Roggie?..." Clare croaked, watching her brother in horror. 

Brian jumped up from the chair and climbed next to him, wrapping an arm around the smaller man and pulling him close. 

"Rog, listen to my voice. It's okay, everything's okay." Brian spoke soothingly, brushing his blond hair back. "Deep breath in, deep breath out."

"N-No! Th-They're dead, Bri!" Roger was shaking violently, his wide eyes filled with tears. 

"I... I know, I'm sorry..." Brian swallowed. He'd seen Roger have panic attacks before, but never like this. 

"I-I killed them! It's m-my fault!" Roger was hysterical, a nurse entered the room with a syringe, walking over to the IV drip. 

"Roger, they crashed into you. There was nothing you could do." Brian maintained a calm voice despite crying himself. 

Roger looked at the nurse with wide eyes. "Wh-What are you doing?!" The nurse injected the medicine and Roger went limp, his body giving out. 

"It's a mild sedative. He can't panic like that for a few more days or he'll collapse his lung again." The nurse said before leaving the room. 

Rogers eyes fluttered shut as sleep overtook his body again. The only thing he could hear were the soft sobs of his best friends and sister.


	10. Welcome Home, Roger

Roger wasn't released for another 2 weeks. His bruises have faded and the cuts on his face had most healed, even the gash on his forehead was a small scab. He could walk on his own, shower by himself, and he finally got that bloody catheter out. Frankly, he was excited to be leaving in the morning. 

Roger watched the sleeping figure in the chair across the hospital room. Roger smiled slightly, sitting up in his bed. Brian had stayed every single night that Roger had been in the hospital, only leaving once or twice to get fresh clothes upon Rogers request. 

"Bri, at least go home and take a shower!" He'd beg, his big blue eyes making it impossible for Brian to say no. 

"Okay, but I'll be back in an hour." It was the same response every time, and he was always back within the hour, freshly showered with a package of biscuits for Roger. 

Despite the pain and overall depressive mood in the hospital, it was nice spending all day with the curly haired man. Roger especially enjoyed the nights. 

Ever since he woke up, Brian had shared the bed with him every night. He always fell asleep in the chair, but Roger always had an excuse to get him into his bed. 

Two weeks ago

"Bri?" He called out softly, his eyes resting on the sleeping man. 

"Rog? Are you okay?" Brian woke up immediately, standing up to help him as soon as he could. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Roger chuckled, scooting over to one side of the bed. "I'm cold." He lied. It was June and he had ten blankets on him, there was no way in hell that boy was cold. 

Brian chuckled. "Do you want another blanket from the warmer?" (Idk if hospitals had blanket warmers back then, but let me tell you, those shits are where it's at)

"No, I have enough blankets." Roger patted the spot next to him. "Care to join me?" He grinned as he saw Brian's cheeks heat up. 

"Rog, are you high?" It was an honest question, but it got a laugh out of the blond. 

"No, Bri, I'm cold." Roger patted the spot once again. "Please? I'm lonely." He pouted. 

The words caused a lump to form in Brian's throat. Roger meant it in an innocent, 'I just want to cuddle my best friend' sort of way. Nothing more, nothing to worry about. 

"I can see you over thinking. Just get your ass in my bed, May!" Roger said, crossing his arms with a smile. "Pretty please? I'll be your best friend."

"You're already my best friend, you arse." Brian chuckled. "Fine, but only because the chair is hurting my back."

That was the excuse every night. Roger was cold, and the chair was uncomfortable. It didn't matter though, they both were more than happy to share the small hospital bed. 

Roger cleared his throat and the taller man jumped up. 

"Jesus, Rog, I thought something happened!" Brian's eyes were wide and full of concern until he saw the blond sitting up in the bed with messy hair and a smirk. 

"I'm cold." He said simply and Brian rolled his eyes with a smile. "Join me?"

"Well... the chair is hurting me back a bit..." He smiled at the blue eyed man before crawling into the bed. 

They were best friends. This is what best friends do. 

Right?

_______________________

"Bri, wake up." Rogers raspy voice whispered in his ears. His eyes opened to the sunlit room. 

Roger was finally coming home. 

Or rather, going home to his own flat. It was hard to not be disappointed that he won't be seeing his baby-blue eyes every morning. He won't be there to sooth any nightmare, or dry the tears when the pain is too much. 

"I'm ready to go home, Bri..." Roger said quietly, looking into his hazel eyes. 

"I-I'll go call Clare." Brian said, getting up from the bed before a hand was around his wrist. 

"No."

"What?" Brian was confused. He said he wanted to go home, or so he thought. 

"I-I..." Roger swallowed. "Never mind. Can you please call her?" 

Brian nodded and turned around to go to the payphone across the hall. He slipped in a few coins and dialed the number. 

"Taylor flat, hello?" Clare's soft voice came through the phone. He chuckled a bit at her introduction. 

"Hey, Clare. It's Brian. The doctors are releasing Rog today. Deaky has the van and he's coving Rog's shift at the stall. Think you could come pick us up?" Brian twisted the cord a bit, watching Roger through the cracked door. 

"I was just about to leave to come get him." She laughed. "I've already gotten his pain medicine from the chemist."

"Alright, I'll let him know. Thanks, Clare." He smiled a bit. He'd always felt like Clare was a sister to him as well. 

"Hey, Bri?" Her voice was hesitant and she cleared her throat. 

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for staying with Roger. He just... he really needed you and I'm just so glad you stayed. You didn't have to, but you did and that just... I know it meant the world to him." Brian could hear the sincerity in her voice. He couldn't help the soft smile that spread across his face. 

"Of course. He's my best friend." Brian said softly, gazing into the blonds room where he was current flipping a drumstick in the air and catching it. Brian suppressed a laugh when he saw him fail to catch it and hit himself in the face. 

'God he's adorable.' He thought, immediately scolding himself afterwards. That's not how you're supposed to think about your best friend!

"Mhm." Brian didn't like the tone of Clare's voice. "Bri, I'm not stupid."

"I-I'm not sure what you mean." Brian's voice wavered.

"Are you sure you don't feel something a little more than what 'best friends' do?" He could hear the smirk in her voice. She was so similar to Roger, it wasn't even funny. 

"Uhh, I-I gotta go! Rogers calling for me! See you soon!" Brian hung up the phone and leaned on the wall, heaving a deep sigh. 

"God, they're so oblivious." Clare rolled her eyes, hanging up the phone. She pecked her boyfriends cheek before leaving the flat and driving to the hospital. 

"Hey, Bri? Can I ask you something?" Rogers eyes were hesitant and nervous. Something Brian hardly ever saw.

"Of course, Rog. Anything."

"Remember the Christmas before last when you asked me to move in with you?" His eyes fell to his lap as he fiddled with his release paperwork. 

"Yeah, why? You're not still upset about that, are you?" Brian had a small frown on his face. Why was he bringing that up?

"W-Well... if the offer still stands..." Roger lifted his gaze to meet Brian's. He swallowed nervously until he saw Brian's face split into a grin. 

"Really? I mean, we only have two rooms, so we'd have to share a room since Fred and Deaky are together." Brian rubbed the back of his neck, hardly containing his excitement. 

"I don't mind. I just... Clare and her boyfriend need space. It doesn't feel fair for me to be there. As much as I love her, I have to let her grow up." Brian smiled at Roger's words, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

"Looks like you're growing up too, Rog." Brian grinned as Roger rolled his eyes. 

"Shaddup." He chuckled, pushing the taller man away. "So what do you say? Wanna be roomies?" Roger smirked. 

"Alright, but no taking down my space posters!" Brian grinned, taking the paperwork from the blond. 

"Okay, but I reserve the right to make fun of you for them." Roger said, getting out of the bed with a smile. 

"Fair enough." Brian shrugged with a laugh and went out to give the papers to the nurses to discharge Roger. 

As soon as Brian left the room, Roger squealed into his pillow. He was moving in with his three best friends and bandmates. 

'And the love of your life.' He rolled his eyes, pushing the though away. 

Soon, Brian walked in with Clare, who wore a huge smile. 

"Ready to go home, Roggie?" Clare asked, helping Brian collect all of his belongs from around the room. 

"Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you about something." Roger began nervously. 

Clare's face lit up. "Oh my god, are you guys together?!" 

Brian spit his water out all over himself and began coughing violently as Rogers eyes bugged out of his head and his cheeks were set ablaze. 

"Fuck, Clare, no!" Roger rubbed a hand across his face. "Why the hell would you think that?" His defensiveness was short lived, as his voice cracked in the middle of his outburst. 

"R-Roger's straight, Clare!" Brian sputtered. "A-And we're just friends!"

"Roger's straight?" Clare raised an eyebrow before seeing Rogers face pale as he gave her a pleading look. "Oh, yeah. Silly me. He's as straight as an arrow."

"A-Anyway... Clare, I'm moving out." Roger looked at his sister with a serious face. "I just, I think it's best for both of us. You and Matt need your own space and I-" Roger took a deep breath and rubbed his temples. "I am so tired of hearing you fuck every single night."

Clare's face turned a bit red as she nodded. "Right, sorry." She mumbled before looking back at her brother. "So... Where are you moving to?"

"With Bri and the boys." He smiled and Clare smirked. 

"Into their two bedroom flat?" She asked in a suggestive voice. 

"Yeah, it's perfect for our fourway orgies." Roger retorted as Brian choked in the background. 

"Christ sake, Rog!" Brian wheezed. 

"That's an imagine I don't need in my head." Clare laughed and Roger chuckled, shaking his head. 

"No, I'm gonna bring my bed and Bri and I are sharing his room. Right, Bri?" Roger looked over at the coughing guitarist, who was still recovering from Rogers comment. 

"Y-Yeah, that's right." He nodded. 

"And then, when we're big rock legends, we'll get a four bedroom flat." Roger grinned. 

"Wouldn't we just get our own houses?" Brian chuckled, finally getting a grip on his breathing. 

"Aw, but I'd miss you all too much!" Roger whined. 

"You don't even live with us yet!" Brian laughed. 

"Yes, but your flat is my second home." He said, pulling his jacket on. He didn't care if it was eighty degrees outside, he loved this jacket. 

"And you say Freddie's a drama queen." Clare snorted. 

"Freddie says Freddie's a drama queen." Roger corrected as they made their way out to the car. 

"You're both drama queens. Hysterical ones at that." Brian commented, earning a small shove from the blond. 

"Fuckin rude." Roger laughed. 

It wasn't long before they pulled in front of Roger and Clare's flat. Roger got out and headed for the door, unlocking it and letting himself in. 

"Welcome home, Darling!" He was greeted with a tight hug from a certain singer. 

"Welcome home, Rog!" Deaky grinned, holding up a small cake, iced with bright pink frosting, 'Welcome Hoe, Roger!'

"Freddie, my ribs are still broken!" Roger squealed under the pressure of the hug. 

Freddie chuckled and let go. "Do you like the cake? I iced it myself! Deaky baked it, don't worry!"

"Welcome hoe?" Roger chuckled. "You calling me a hoe, Fred?"

"He forgot the 'M', but wouldn't let me fix it because it fit better." John explained, setting the cake down. 

Roger just laughed, plopping down on the couch with a slight wince. He'd need another pain pill soon. 

"He's a lovable little hoe. We love our hoe." Freddie grinned, sitting next to the blond and wrapping an arm around him. "A hoe for Brian." Freddie whispered into his ear before laughing. 

"Hey!" Roger blushed. 

"Oh, darling, I'm just messing with you!" Freddie let out another laugh. 

"I don't even want to know." Brian shook his head, digging through a paper bag. 

"What're you doing, Bri?" Roger tilted his head. 

Brian pulled out a small pill bottle and opening it. He placed the pill in Rogers hand and gave him a glass of water. 

"I saw you wince and saw that it was time for you to take your medicine." Brian shrugged, putting the pills back in the back. 

"Thanks, Bri." Roger smiled before popping the pill in his mouth and dry swallowing it. 

"Holy shit, Rog. That pill was huge!" Freddie exclaimed, his eyes wide. 

"I'm good at swallowing things, I ain't no bitch." Roger smirked, leaning back into the couch. 

"Well, spitter are quitters." Freddie smirked back as John whacked him with a towel. 

"You're both children." Brian rolled his eyes, though it was clear he was amused. 

"Be careful, Rog. Your gay is showing." Freddie chuckled. 

"Not again." Roger laughed, leaning his head on the singers shoulders. It wasn't long before he was fully asleep. 

"The pills make him drowsy." Clare said, reading the side effects. 

"Hmm, drowse." Roger muttered in a dreamy voice. 

"Well isn't he adorable. Wouldn't you say, Bri?" Freddie smirked, looking at the tall man of whom was gazing adoringly at the smaller man. 

"I couldn't say no if I tried." He smiled.


	11. Hey, Paul! Can You See Alright?

The recovery process proved to be quite difficult at times, but after three months, Roger was more or less completely healed. 

He still didn't seem to remember the fight, but Brian noticed his nightmares at night. He must remember the crash itself. But he never said anything of it, and ignored when Brian had asked. 

"Bags all packed?" Freddie looked around at the boys who had their luggage thrown into the van. 

"We're good, Fred." Brian nodded, getting in the van. He waited for Roger to sit next to him, as he usually did, but he opted for the front seat instead, staring out the window in uncharacteristic silence as Paul got into the front seat. 

"Shouldn't Freddie be in the front?" Paul asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Shouldn't you fuck off and drive?" Roger snapped back, glaring at the Irish man. 

Paul scoffed as he started the car and began driving, muttering under his breath. 

Freddie sat in between John and Brian, casting a worried glance to Roger. 

"Rog, are you alright?" John pipped up, receiving nothing but a short "yes" as their drive continued on.

The rest of the ride was dead silent, but Rogers death grip on the side of his seat and the way he whimpered when Paul hit the breaks too hard didn't go unnoticed. 

"Alright, here we are. Ridge farm." Paul announced as Roger got out of the car quickly and got sick behind a small bush. 

"Roger!" Brian quickly made his way over to the blond, who moved away from his touch. 

"Car sick. I'm fine." He muttered, wiping his mouth as he made his way back to the rest of the band. 

Brian watched him for a moment, frowning deeply before following them into the house. 

"Freddie, this is you. The biggest room." Paul said, smiling at him. "This is you, Roger. Brian across from Roger."

"Paul, can you see alright?" Roger asked, crossing his arms. 

"I see just fine, is there a problem?" Paul asked, mirroring Rogers action. 

"Well, I assumed you'd have a bit of trouble considering how far your head is up Freddie's ass." Rogers eyes narrowed in full distrust. 

John couldn't contain his giggles and Brian tried, but failed, to contain his laughter. 

"Rog, I understand you're upset about one thing or another, but lay off Paul, alright?" Freddie frowned. "Don't be so bitchy."

"I guess it goes both ways, huh? You managed to have your heads up each other's asses." And with that he slammed the door to his bedroom. 

"Melodramatic rockstars, thinks he's better than everyone else even though he's just...an amateur ." Paul rolled his eyes. 

"Don't talk about him like that. He's better than anything you are." Brian glared before walking into his own bedroom and shutting the door. 

"They're just a bit cranky from the drive, is all..." Freddie said awkwardly. 

"Really, Freddie?" John frowned. "Unbelievable." He muttered as he walked into Brian's room, leaving the two alone. 

"Let me show you to the studio." He heard Paul say. "I'm sure you need a break from them." The footsteps made it clear that they were gone and Freddie's silence on the matter was louder than anything he could've said. 

"What's wrong with Roger?" John asked, sitting on the bed next to Brian. 

"I don't know... He's been having nightmares lately, over the past two months. I think he remembers the crash. All of it..." Brian said quietly, looking down at his lap. 

"And you think he remembers the fight?" He asked, looking at his friend sadly. 

"He hardly looks at me, and won't talk to me about anything beside band practice. I asked his if he remembers anything and he said no and to leave him alone." Brian sighed. 

"And what did you do?" He frowned, looking at the older man. 

"I left him alone? It's what he wanted." Brian crosses his arms and stared out the window. 

"Brian, go talk to him." John said, standing up. 

"He wants to be alone, John." 

"He sure as shit doesn't, go talk to him and figure out what's wrong. If he's really your best friend and you're really in love with him, you'd be helping him when he needs you. Like he does now." John went to the door. "You've got to figure it out sooner or later." And with that, he left. Most likely going down to his bedroom in the basement. 

Brian got up after a while and crossed the hall. It was getting late in the evening, he could tell by the way the sky was pitch black and the stars were vibrantly shining. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. 

And he waited.

After a few minutes, Brian cautiously opened the door to find the window wide open and Roger was no where to be seen.

Panic set in as Brian rushed to the window, looking around on the ground below. 

"Brian?" He heard a raspy voice and he turned his head to see the blond sitting on the room, smoking a cigarette. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Brian asked with wide eyes. 

"You hate the smell of smoke, I didn't want to smoke inside and I also didn't want to go downstairs. So I'm on the roof." Roger shrugged, putting the cigarette out just as Brian climbed through the window. Brian couldn't help the small smile he had from the blonds statement. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Roger repeated after him, watching his struggle to get out with his long giraffe legs. 

"Joining you on the roof." Brian noticed a slight smile come to Rogers face. It was absolutely beautiful. He was beautiful. 

"I figured you'd like it up here. The stars are really clear." Roger said quietly, eyes focused on the sky. "A lot different from London."

Brian wanted to look at the stars, but he found himself absolutely mesmerized in the sight of his best friend. The moonlight shone down on him in the most perfectly, illuminating his blue eyes to the point where he looked like an actual angel. Try as he might, he couldn't look away. 

"What?" Roger was looking back at him, a soft frown tugging at his lips. 

"It's just..." Brian cleared his throat. "You have beautiful eyes." 

Even in the pale moonlight, Brian could see the blush flooding his cheeks, and he was sure Roger could see the pink on his cheeks as well. 

"Oh, well... Thanks, Brian." Roger chuckled a bit. "You have nice eyes too."

"Roger, are we okay?" Brian asked suddenly, wiping the smile from Rogers face. 

"I-" His voice cracked, "I don't know, Bri." His eyes were back on the stars and Brian swore he could see a trace of tears in them. 

"Do you... Do you remember that night?" Brian asked quietly. 

Roger opened his mouth to answer, but quickly closed it before nodding softly. 

"Th-The fight we had?.." He didn't take his eyes off the blond. He noticed him tense up. 

"I-It was real?" Roger voice was barely above a whisper, but the sound broke Brian's heart. 

"Rog, I-"

"So, that's what you really think of me?" Roger looked at him, the hurt on his face knocked the air from his lungs. There was no trace of anger in his eyes, just pure sadness and that's what hurt the most. 

"Of course not, Roger. I was stupid and drunk and..." Brian rubbed his face. "There's no excuse for what I said and I won't ask you to forgive me, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Roger." Brian swallowed, trying to blink back the tears in his eyes as guilt washed over him. 

"It's okay." Roger said quietly, staring down at his lap. "It's true. What you said." His blue eyes glanced up at his face. "I'm just a slut." His face held disgust as he spit the words out. 

"Roger, don't say that..." Brian said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. Roger was shaking. 

"I just... The last real relationship I had, I was a teenager. And he cheated on me and got some girl pregnant. I really loved him, Bri. I gave up everything for him, and he left me. I told him I loved him and he said he was done with me." Roger let out a humorless laugh, tears falling from his eyes, Brian watched in surprise. Roger wasn't straight? He'd never opened up like this before. "He said, 'We need to break up, I found a girl and I really love her. I'm sorry, Roger.' And when I said we could work it out, he told me she was pregnant." He balled his hands up in fists. 

"I never let myself fall in love with anyone again. Until I turned on the fucking radio two years ago and heard this guy tell this story that made me feel like I wasn't alone." Brian's eyes widened, he couldn't be talking about what he thought he was. Roger's tearful eyes met Brian's. "I fell in love again and I hated myself for it. And the next day, believe it or not, I met the guy. And if I wasn't in love before, I sure as hell was as soon as I walked in that door and saw him. As soon as you talked to me and you just... you cared so much about everything. You were absolutely perfect and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but fall in love with you. You and your stupid hair, and your stupid eyes, and the way you talk about the stars and just... everything, Brian. I fell in love with your everything." Roger wiped his eyes as Brian opened his mouth to speak, he interrupted him. 

"Don't. Don't say anything. I just... I couldn't hold it in anymore. I don't want pity and I sure as hell don't want to hear your speech about our friendship, okay? Spare me that." Roger stood up shakily and climbed through the window, leaving Brian sitting there in shock. 

Roger was in love with him.


	12. Love of My Life

Brian ran downstairs as fast as he could, looking anywhere he could for Roger. 

"Brian?" John called, a small frown on his face. "Everything alright? Why are you running?" 

"Roger..." He wheezed, out of breath from running. "He said he loves me."

"That's great, again, why are you running?" John leaned against the counter, sipping his tea. 

"Because I need to tell him that I love him too!"

"You... Are you fucking serious?" John put the cup down on the counter. "The guy you've been pining over for nearly two years tells you he loves you and you don't say it back right away? What the actual fuck, Brian." 

"He didn't give me a chance to! He got up and ran away and shushed me when I tried to talk!" Brian frowned, he know he should've tried harder. 

"He went out the door, down to where the piano is. He's probably talking to Freddie." John said, turning around to turn up the volume on the record he was listening to. 

"Thanks, Deaky!" Brian called, running out the door and down to where Roger and Freddie were. When he pushed the door open, he was met with a sight he wasn't ready to see. 

Roger had Paul pinned up against the wall, his nose dripping blood and his eye swollen. Rogers cheek was a bit bruised and bottom lip was bleeding. 

Freddie was frozen in shock with tears in his eyes. Brian automatically ran to Freddie, wrapping an arm around his friend in attempt to calm in down. 

Roger slammed Paul against the wall and spun him around to shove him out the door. 

"You get your ass out of here, Prenter. I don't want to see your fucking face near Freddie again! Do you understand me?" His eyes were cold and he was shaking with rage. Paul was shaking too, but his was with fear. 

The Irish man got up and ran to the door, exiting quickly as Roger stood stiffly watching him leave. 

Brian had seen Roger angry before, but nothing came close to this. There was no warmth in his eyes, no hint of a smile on his face. He was ice cold. 

"What... what happened?" Brian asked quietly. 

"Freddie's cheating on John with that piece of shit." Roger spat, turning around to glare at Freddie. 

"I-I'm not, Roger! He kissed me! I swear, I-" Freddie let out a sob, his whole body shaking. 

"You kissed him back before I pulled him away." His voice was harsh as he clenched his hands into bloody fists. "John trusted you, Freddie. He trusted you and you threw it all away."

"N-No! Roger, I love John! I'd never do that to him!" Freddie cried, his voice breaking. 

"Love doesn't fucking exist." He spat, storming out of the building and slamming the door along the way. 

"He'll cool down, Freddie. He always does. He's just... He's having a rough time right now." Brian said softly as Freddie sobbed into his chest. 

"What if he tells John? He'll hate me..." Freddie whimpered. "I-I can't lose him, Bri. I swear I didn't cheat on him. Paul kissed me and Roger saw and pulled him off." 

"I believe you, Freddie. I do." Brian said soothingly, rubbing his back. "Just calm down and we can go explain this to John." 

Freddie nodded, wiping his eyes and standing up. "Okay, let's go then."

Brian put an arm around his shoulder and led him to the building they were staying in. 

John had his back to them when they came in and Brian felt his stomach drop. Roger must've told him. 

"I'm guessing it didn't go as planned, seeing as Roger came in looking like he was going to murder someone and then bursted into tears running to his room." Brian was relieved roger didn't say anything, but his heart shattered at Johns words. Slowly, he turned around to look at Brian and Freddie. His face softened as he ran to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him. 

"I-I'm so sorry, John." Freddie sniffled. "I-I didn't want him, I tried to push him away." 

"What happened, Freddie?" John asked softly, rubbing his back in order to calm him down. 

"P-Paul... He kissed me. I-I didn't kiss him back, I promise! I swear, John. I love you and I would never do that to you! I swear!" Freddie was borderline hysterical but John remained calm. Brian could see anger in his eyes, but the younger mans face showed empathy. 

"It's okay, Freddie. I believe you. I know you wouldn't do that." John said, pulling away and softly pressed his lips to Freddie, cupping his cheek. "I'll always believe you."

"I love you, John." Freddie gave him a teary smile and kissed him again. 

"I love you too." He returned the smile. 

Brian watched, blinking back his own tears. He wanted what they had. He wanted to have that with Roger. 

Brian quickly climbed the stairs and stopped at Roger's bedroom. He heard soft sobs coming from inside the room. He tried the handle and found it was unlocked. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. 

Brian threw open the door and his eyes immediately locked onto eyes as blue as the Tenerife sea. (shout out to the Ed Sheeran song that owns my heart and soul)

"Brian-" Roger began before his mouth was covered with Brian's index finger. 

"No. It's my turn, Roger." His voice was soft as he shut the door. "Freddie told John about everything. Freddie wasn't lying, Rog. I know... I know what happened hurt you, but there is love in the world. You've just been looking in the wrong places. That guy didn't love you. He didn't deserve you. And you didn't deserve what he did to you." Brian wiped the tears rolling down his pale cheeks. 

"What John and Freddie have, that's love. And Freddie wouldn't throw that away for some asshole like Paul." Brian sighed. "I just... What I came in here to say is that love exists, Roger. It's everywhere. Clare loves you. She looks up to you like you're a god. John looks to you like you're an older brother and he loves you. Freddie loves you more than he loves himself, he says you're the best friend he's ever had." 

"They all love you because you're you, Roger. You're crazy, passionate, funny, beautiful, annoying, whiny, and just... absolutely perfect in every way. You live your life with your heart on your sleeve and you give all your love away, but you never expect anything back." Brian gazes into his eyes as Roger staring up at him in silence. 

"I remember the day you walked into your audition. We were all fed up and tired, about to give up when in came this confident, radiant guy. Your eyes took my breath away and I was mesmerized by not only your beauty, but your grace. The way you sat behind the drums and you knew you were good. You hardly even had to try. I knew that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you go."

"Then... you became my best friend. And I was so damn scared to lose you that I just kept it to myself. For nearly two years, I've been watching from the sidelines as you gave your heart away, the way that you do, and it just tore me up inside. It caused me to say words that I will never forgive myself for saying. It caused me to almost lose you for good." He continued, blue and hazel intertwined. 

"But... I can't keep it in anymore. I can't stand by and watch you be with anyone else. I can't because ever since the day I met you, I was truly, madly, stupidly in love with you. I love you, Roger, more than you could ever know." Tears streamed down Brian's cheeks, falling drip by drip onto the hardwood floor. Rogers eyes were filled with tears as he stared into Brian's eyes. 

"Bri, I-" 

Before he could respond, Brian's hands were cupping his face gently and pulling him in. Brian presses his lips to Rogers, pulling him close. 

Roger melted into the taller man, gripping his shoulders as his knees began to buckle.

Roger felt loved. He felt the pure rush of something that he had never truly felt before. Roger pulled Brian closer, wrapping his arms around his neck and smiled into the kiss. 

Brian pulled away after a while and gazed into his eyes. 

"I love you, Roger. And I don't care what you say or do, I will always love you." Brian moved his hands back up to Rogers cheeks, resting there forehead together. 

"I-I love you too, Bri... I really do. You're the love of my life." Rogers voice was soft as his eyes fluttered shut, and he breathed in the moment. "Tell me this isn't a dream, because right now, I can't tell. I kicked Paul's ass and I got you?" Roger let out a small chuckle. "It's too good to be true."

"Did I mention you were violent?" Brian chuckled. 

"Nope, but you said you love me already, so no take backs!" Roger grinned up at him, the familiar spark returning to his eyes. 

"I wouldn't dream of it." Brian smiled, leaning down to kiss him again, which Roger gladly accepted. 

He found the love of his life and he knew he would never let him go.


	13. Love Is Real (EPILOGUE)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end :(   
> But I’m still working on a sequel! It’s called “Love is Real”, the title is based off this last chapter. 
> 
> Anyway, the song mentioned is “Love” by John Lennon and it’s absolutely beautiful. 
> 
> Carry on!

One Month Later

Roger was sitting in the front seat of Brian's car, looking out the window.

"Hey, Bri?" Roger said, looking over at the man driving.

"Yeah?" Brian smiled over at him.

"Are we there yet?" He smirked when Brian's smile fell into an exasperated look. 

"Oh my god, Roger, you've been asking that for an hour!" Brian rubbed his face.

"But I'm bored! And you won't let me kiss you!" Roger pouted, crossing his arms.

"Rog, I'm driving." Brian huffed a laugh. "It's not but longer, alright?"

"Alright..." Roger sighed, leaning back in the seat, he popped a piece of gum in his mouth. Roger decided to quit smoking because Brian hated it, and he realized that he didn't care so much for it either. The gum helped him resist the urge to light up.

Roger smiled to himself, remembering how happy Brian had been when he told him.

'I'm so proud of you, Rog' He smiled softly, wrapping his arms around the smaller blond.

Roger felt so happy in his arms, he didn't even feel the need to smoke at all.

Brian had been so patient when the withdrawal hit and he got sweaty, anxious, and snappy. Anytime Roger snapped at him, Brian pressed a kiss to his lips to calm him down. It worked every time.

"What're you smiling about?" Brian asked, smiling over at his boyfriend.

"I just love you." Roger said softly, gazing over at him.

"I love you too, Rog..." Brian said, his eyes showing just how much he meant it.

"Can you pull over for a minute?" Roger asked quietly.

Without another question, Brian pulled over to he side of the road.

"Is everything okay?" He looked over to the smaller man who was just watching him.

"Yeah, I just really wanted to kiss you." Roger smiled, unbuckling his seatbelt and leaning over to grab his face. He pressed their lips together for a moment, not making any effort to go beyond an innocent kiss.

Brian pulled away, resting his forehead on Rogers. "What was that for?" He chuckled.

"For being everything I've ever wanted. And for showing me that love is real." Roger said softly, gazing into his hazel eyes.

"You're such a sap." Brian smiled, kissing him again. "I must say I feel the same. I don't think I ever really knew love until I met you."

"Now who's the sap?" Roger laughed softly before pulling him in for a hug and sitting back with crossed arms. "Now can you tell me where the hell we're going?"

"There's my cranky Roger." Brian laughed and shook his head. "A few more minutes! Be patient!"

"Bri!" He whined, "You know I'm not good at being patient." Roger pouted and Brian laughed and ignored his comment.

Finally the car came to a stop and Roger looked out the window to see lights everywhere.

"Brighton." Brian grinned.

"What?" Roger looked at Brian with a confused look.

"We're in Brighton." Brian smiled at him.

"Like your song!" Roger beamed, radiating complete happiness.

"Well, it was actually after a novel, but yes, exactly." Brian grinned, leaning over to kiss him again. "I got us a hotel right by the beach for a weekend. The summer's almost over, but the weather is perfect."

"What’s this for?" Roger asked, smiling softly.

"Its for us. No special occasion. I just want you all to myself." Brian grinned.

"We might want to wait to get to the hotel for that." Roger winked, smirking when he saw the blush appear on Brian's cheeks.

"R-Right." He laughed nervously. "Well, I figured you'd like to walk on the boardwalk walk before we go to the hotel." He smiled sweetly and all of Roger dirty thoughts disappeared, well... most of them.

"That sounds lovely, Brian." He smiled.

They shared one more kiss before getting out of the car and heading to the boardwalk. Even though they couldn't hold hands, they walked close enough to bump arms every few steps. It wasn't much, but it was enough for them.

When the night got late, they went to their hotel, ignoring the weird looks from the people at the main desk when they requested their one queen sized bed.

Brian turned on the radio and the soft playing of the piano filled the room. He looked over at the blond who was sitting on the bed and taking his shoes off. He smiled at his messy, wind blown hair and made his way over to him.

"Can I have this dance?" He asked softly, extending out a hand to the wide eyed man.

"I'd love nothing more." He smiles, taking his hand and pulling him close.

_Love is real, real is love_

_Love is feeling, feeling love_

_Love is wanting to be loved_

Roger rested his head on Brian's chest, taking comfort in the sound of his heartbeat and the vibrations from him softly singing along to the song.

_Love is touch, touch is love_

_Love is reaching, reaching love_

_Love is asking to be loved_

Brian wrapped his arms around him, holding his body close and swaying along to the song. He sang softly as he strokes Rogers hair gently.

_Love is you_

_You and me_

_Love is knowing_

_we can be_

They swayed together perfectly in sync, eyes shut gently as they let the lyrics of the song wash over them.

_Love is free, free is love_

_Love is living, living love_

_Love is needing to be loved_

As the song came to an end, Brian pulled away just enough to look into the eyes of his love. He leaned down to rest his forehead on Rogers own as soft smiles rested on on both of their faces.

No more words need to be said, because in that moment, they both knew love was real. It wasn't easy, but it was theirs and that's all that mattered.

They had each other. And that was enough.


End file.
